Return to McKinley
by bebraver
Summary: Rachel's life isn't going the way she wanted it to. She's tired, fading and giving in. Leaving the stresses of Broadway she takes a trip to see her Dads but soon finds herself volunteering to resurrect the glee club at her old high school. When she discovers Quinn is also in Lima, she can't quite find a reason to leave any time soon.
1. Chapter 1

**Return to McKinley**

Authors Note: This is my take on why Rachel would return to Lima and the school. Not based on events of season 6. It's set a few years down the line.

Summary:

Rachel's life isn't going the way she wanted it to. She's tired, fading and giving in. Leaving the stresses of Broadway she takes a trip to see her Dads but soon finds herself volunteering to resurrect the glee club at her old high school. When she discovers Quinn is also in Lima, she can't quite find a reason to leave any time soon.

**Chapter 1:**

"Rachel?" she felt a hand on her shoulder and looked up, the director was looking at her strangely and she wondered just how long she'd been sitting at her dressing table, she must have missed her call again.

Joe lifted his eyebrows, still waiting for her to get up.

His eyes were dull. She'd noticed that he looked at her with that same expression a lot lately, but each time the light in his eyes faded. She wasn't his star anymore and he couldn't hide it, she didn't make his eyes sparkle. Perhaps it was a sign that she no longer had it. She felt a tear form and quickly blinked it away.

"I think I should go home." She whispered.

"After the meeting." He nodded.

Rachel had forgotten that was today.

"I just need a moment." She turned back to her own reflection. Looking for something that she couldn't see. The fire in her eyes, the belief inside. They had faded away and she couldn't pinpoint when.

The last week had been a challenge, in truth the whole production had been. Until recently she was holding it together, covering the holes and keeping them alive, but now she'd given up. She'd made basic mistakes, forgotten some lines and for the first time in her career she'd turned up late. Her heart wasn't in it. She looked tired and felt old.

Rachel craved a break, but there was never the time, so instead she drank too much. It was her only way to get over each day. Then last week she missed a performance because one bottle of wine had turned into three.

Once she'd have fought to be on that stage. Now she found herself asking to leave.

She made her way into one of the back rooms. They'd been waiting for her, but when she entered not one person smiled. She felt like walking back out, but found herself sitting down at the chair in front of them.

Less than half an hour later and she was out. Rachel had tried to keep it going but found herself breaking down in tears and when she asked for time off, they'd all agreed that she needed a break.

Now she had six months to recharge. Six months not to step in the theatre. A break, her first in over five years. She wasn't sure if she'd requested it or if those faces that had feigned sympathy with her had made the choice, but now she was outside on the street and alone.

Her phone rang and she hurried to answer it instinctively.

"What the hell is going on?" Byron screamed at her from the other end and she regretted not checking who was calling. Her agent was ruthless, that was why she loved him, but she hated him just as much. She took a deep breath before answering.

"I'm taking a vacation." She replied with a smile on her face, ignoring his wrath.

"Stars don't take Vacation. A vacation, Rachel, is where stars go to fade away and die forever. FOREVER. Can you hear that Rachel?" he went silent. "That silence, that's your star dying and no one noticing. Now get back in there and I'll be over in five. We'll get this mess sorted out. Joe loves you, he doesn't want this. Neither do you."

"I'm going home Byron. I'm burnt out. This star is faded and needs a break."

The line was almost silent, she could hear him breathing and knew he was trying to calm down. Her own breath was light, she felt relieved and knew she'd made the right choice.

"I'll see you at your apartment then." He finally spoke. "We'll go over it. A week, you can have laryngitis and be back. That's a break."

"Lima. I'm going back to Lima and I'm going for six months. I need to see my Dads. Daddy had a heart attack last fall and where have I been? Here! Being a faded star."

"Rachel, I think you're deluded. Maybe rehab? Let's book you in there. Then you can have plenty of time off and you can also still keep in the public eye. Everyone loves a fuck up. You can certainly play that role well." He chided.

"Fine. Tell them rehab. Tell them whatever. But, I'm going tomorrow." Rachel ended the call and felt a surge of relief. She felt free.

At 34 she'd been on Broadway for what seemed like a lifetime. She'd seen her name in lights. Been the talk of the theatre. Won a Tony for best supporting actor having been overlooked twice for best actor. Seven years had passed since that night and the Tony still gleamed. The work still landed at her door, but this latest revival of 'My fair Lady' had dragged. She wanted something fresh. This wasn't it.

She called her assistant and set events in motion. By the time she got a taxi back to her apartment she found that bags were already being packed.

"I got you on the last flight tonight. Passport is in your hand luggage on the table. Michael will be around in two hours to take you to JFK and I booked you a ride from the airport to your fathers."

"Thanks Clem." Rachel couldn't have found a better assistant in the woman that was expertly packing items into two bags. Somehow always knowing what Rachel needed wherever she went. "I don't know how i'll survive without you."

"Then don't go." Clem stopped packing for a moment.

"I need to, you can see I'm broken?" Rachel's voice cracked as the statement turned into a question. She really was broken, she didn't know why it wasn't so obvious to everyone around her.

Clem resumed packing, not saying another word until she'd zipped the bag and assessed her work. She walked up to Rachel and pulled her into a hug. "I'm going to miss you, but yeah, you is pretty broke. So go get fixed up. I want my girl back out there singing like she means it." Clem let her go with a quick squeeze.

For a second Rachel thought she saw a tear in Clem's eye, but she dismissed it quickly because she knew that Clem never cried.

"I promise to try." Rachel picked up the bags and placed them by the front door. This was something she needed, She had to go. She had to find herself again and going home, back to Lima, seemed to make sense. She needed to go back to the start and try again.

Lima hadn't changed since she was 18, or that's how it seemed as the cab drove her towards her father's house. A home where she had many happy memories, one where she felt safe and loved.

People had come and gone since she'd last lived in Lima, but for now Lima would be her home, a retreat and refuge from the hectic life she had in New York.

She loved New York. She couldn't deny it, but there was always something that filled her heart with warmth when she returned to Lima. It made her wonder why in the last ten years she'd probably only spent a handful of days here.

One last turn and there it was. Leroy was on the front step before they came to a juddering halt. His smile filled his face, but all she could see was how much he'd aged.

Since Hiram's heart attack she knew things had been strained, but Hiram was better, taking his meds and annoying Leroy as much as ever. This she could see the second she got in the door and the warmth she'd craved hit her in the heart.

"My baby girl." Hiram pulled her into a hug that she wished would never end. "She came home." He looked towards Leroy, a look that said it all. "She came back to us."

"It's been too long." Leroy kissed her on the head. He'd not scolded her for not visiting when Hiram was out of hospital, but she knew it had upset him. She'd flown in to Lima the second she'd heard, but she also left the second she knew he'd be okay and since then she'd not made that short trip once to see how he was. Relying on face time wasn't enough and she knew it.

"I'm sorry I didn't visit. I...I missed you and I wished I was with you, but work kept dragging me back in and when I finished. I collapsed and then they wanted more...Daddy..." she swallowed thickly. She hadn't meant to cry to her Dad's but it came so easily, too easily. She needed them so much.

Needed them to make her feel better. It had been too long.

"Rachel, baby." Leroy pulled her into his arms. "Shush, it's okay. We understand." After holding her for a few minutes as her sobs subsided he pulled back, but kept a firm grip on her shoulders as his eyes sought hers. "What I don't like is seeing you like this." He let her out of his hold and looked her over throughly. "You look sick. Too thin. Tired."

"Hot chocolate and Rachel's favourite cookies." Hiram announced, making his way towards the kitchen, as he did Rachel noticed that he was slower than she remembered, she also noticed how Leroy watched him with a concerned face.

"He is better though?" she looked to him for reassurance.

"A hundred million times better. Honest Rachel, he really is. Doesn't stop me worrying though. Never stops me doing that." He smiled his soft smile and she left a kiss at the corner of his mouth.

She ate and drank and smiled and laughed and that night she slept for four hours straight. The most she'd managed in forever and without the aid of alcohol. The next morning she watched as they made her favourite breakfast and smiled to herself. This was exactly what she'd needed.

xoxo

For a week it was perfect. She was pampered and loved and rested, but by the end of the weekend Rachel was bored. She'd listened to her old records. Walked through Lima three times. Played cards with her Dads and laughed at the old stories they repeated over and over. She'd taken a rest, found a spa, even been to a yoga class.

Every little helped but nothing filled her head. The old doubts and questions still haunted her.

Broadway had always been her dream and she'd made it there, but she didn't feel fulfilled, yet she couldn't make herself keep trying. Perhaps she was meant to feel content with her achievements or perhaps she was meant to want more, but lately she just felt numb.

She didn't feel like she wanted anything enough anymore and that was what scared her the most as she lay in her bed at night. There had to be a reason to get up in the morning.

Then it came to her. There was something she'd let go along time ago, something that she had the power to change.

"I can do this." She told Hiram at breakfast.

"It's too much."

"How can it be too much? I had a relentless schedule, never got a break. This is simple and it's something I can do. Something I really believe in. The Principal is seeing me this morning and it's going to happen."

"Rachel, are you sure that committing yourself to a High School is really what you want? What if the director calls? Byron has been ringing you every hour since you got here and when you don't answer he calls me!"

"It'll rejuvenate me Dad. I can give these kids the chance to dream. What would I be without that school, without glee club?"

Hiram nodded slowly. "See what Mrs Stephens says. You might have a battle with the board and you know Sue still has a say in things."

"I can handle Sue."

"I know you can, but remember the 'rest' part of this visit."

"I'll try." Rachel picked up her purse and headed on a familiar route to the High school. Looking up at the building she felt a shiver rush through her.

She'd hit her rock bottom, she was sure of it. She needed to dig her way out and all she could think of was how she needed to start again. Press reset. That left her thinking of Glee and that led her back into these halls, it all made perfect sense to her now why she'd wanted to come back to Lima.

"Your name is well known." Mrs Stephens beamed as Rachel was shown into the office. "We're very proud here of our past students successes. It's wonderful motivation for the future generation." Rachel smiled warmly. "Perhaps you'd come in for an assembly Ms Berry? We'd love it if maybe you'd sing?"

Mrs Stephens palms were clammy as they shook hands and her smile was too eager.

"I was hoping to do more than that. I was hoping maybe I could take on the glee club."

"We don't have a glee club." Mrs Stephens blushed at that admission. "No funds available." She tapped the folder on her desk and shrugged as a sorry explanation.

"I..." Rachel was astonished, she'd known that keeping the club going was a challenge, but she'd not expected a flat no when she suggested it.

"I can fund it. Sponsor the club. That could work right?" she blurted out without thinking.

"You would? I'd have to talk to the board, but I don't see why not. The Rachel Berry Glee club. Now that does sound good. We could definitely get support for that, pull in some fund-raising." Rachel watched as Mrs Stephens scribbled some notes.

"Just Glee club." Rachel corrected. "I want to give something back, but I don't want it to be about me." Mrs Stephens nodded. "You do still have the choir room?" Rachel asked anxiously.

"Sort of. It's being used as a store room, but last I checked there were some old drums and a piano in there. I think it's wonderful that you would be happy to fund a club, but I don't know if you'll be able to find someone to teach. The faculty here, well no one likes to do overtime anymore. It's unpaid and…"  
"I'll fund and I'll teach. I can get someone in to play piano. All I need is eager kids. It'll be fantastic." Rachel's head was full of all the fun she'd have helping the new generation of gleeks out.

It didn't take long to get things together and soon she was busy making plans and Mrs Stephens was happy to put up posters advertising the new club. She had one week to think of songs and set lists and costumes, but first she needed to get the choir room cleared.

Monday morning came around quickly. Rachel had sheet music, but more importantly she had Brad. She'd found him playing piano at a retirement home. It didn't take much to persuade him back to McKinley. She could feel a tingle in her hands as she walked through the main doors. A nervous energy she hadn't felt outside of a curtain call.

The halls were already filled with students making their way to class and for a moment she watched them, as she concentrated on each breath that filled her lungs. She exhaled slowly. This was her life again. The bell had already rang, but she was in no rush. Auditions weren't until lunch time. She planned to spend the morning getting the choir room looking just right.

As the crowds dispersed she began to make her way to the choir room before a few late comers caught her eye.

"You're due in class." A voice called out from an open door, but the group didn't move. Rachel heard heels clipping along the hard floor, but she couldn't see, her view was obscured by a tall boy wearing a letterman jacket. For a second she thought it was Finn, he'd stood in these halls, but Finn was gone. She felt a familiar sadness at his memory. Then her memory played another trick for there in front of her stood Quinn Fabray. Her stony face as fierce as she'd remembered.

"Rachel?" she heard her name, but she couldn't see Quinn anymore. Just a group of boys that were moving towards her. Then she felt that old sensation, one she'd not felt since high school and one she'd hoped she'd never remember. Ice cold slushy hit her in the face. She couldn't move. Her head spinning.

"Come with me." She felt someone take her arm, but she couldn't see where she was going now and she was beginning to think she was hallucinating. Maybe her Dad was right and this really was too much. She really did need a rest.

Coming here was too much, she taken on too much yet again. She wanted to cry but she couldn't find tears, her eyes just stung from the slushy mix.

The bathroom door clicked shut and she was being handed paper towels.

"Hurry you might be able to rescue that top."

"Quinn?" Rachel was still confused, she reached out a hand and touched the woman's face. "I'm not seeing things then?"

"No Rach, It's me. You are you. This is McKinley and somehow you got slushied! What on earth are you doing here?"

"I teach here." Rachel answered proudly. Now she knew she wasn't delusional she felt reassured that she was meant to be here.

"You do not." Quinn laughed but stopped when she saw the smirk on Rachel's face.

"It's my first day. I'm taking over the glee club, can you believe it Quinn?"

"No, actually I can't." Quinn frowned.

"Why are you here anyway?" Rachel prickled at Quinn's hostility it was old, yet familiar. They were in the restroom. It was all too familiar.

"I.." Quinn sucked in a deep breath and straightened her skirt. She'd taken pride in her appearance this morning and now she saw the newly laundered item was speckled with grape. Her attention was brought back to Rachel. Standing with her arms folded across her wet blouse, tapping her foot lightly, waiting for an answer. Quinn looked her up and down, she hadn't seen her in a long time, but she hadn't changed a bit.

"I work here. Coming up five years now. I guess you'd have known if you'd come back for the reunion."

"There was a reunion?" Rachel looked up confusedly and then she remembered. She'd meant to come, but she was working and that week she was drinking, drinking a lot. "I didn't make it, but no one told me you'd come back to Lima. I thought you were..."

"Thought I was what?" Quinn chuckled a little, she had a good idea that Rachel had never thought of her at all.

"Just doing something you loved, somewhere, somewhere that wasn't here. I always hoped you'd find happiness." It sounded patronising and she knew it, but she also meant it.

"I'm happy." Quinn corrected her. "I love my job. Lima isn't as bad once you grow up a little. I came back here when my Mom got sick. A job came up and it all worked out well." Quinn offered another towel but Rachel didn't take it. She just found herself staring.

It had been a long time but Quinn was as beautiful now as she had been back then, finally she dropped her eyes and took the towel. "I'm sorry, it's really none of my business, I shouldn't have said anything. You look great." Rachel wiped the stain on her jacket. She knew it wouldn't come out, they never did. She regretted not bringing a change of clothes, but not for a minute did she expect this return to McKinley to be like her days of old.

Then a thought came to her. "I'd have noticed your name." She looked up into the mirror to see Quinn watching her curiously and she wished she could tell what the blonde was thinking. "On the staff list. I would have known." Rachel reached for her bag. Hoping she'd brought the papers with her.

"Mrs Q. Andrews." Quinn leaned over her shoulder and pointed out the name.

"English." Rachel read aloud. "You were always reading." The words slipped from her mouth as she remembered how disinterested Quinn had seemed back in their days in the choir room.

"And that's where I need to be right now, my class is waiting. You going to be okay?"

"I'm fine. You go Quinn. I'll see you around."

"Sure." Quinn walked out of the door without looking back.

Rachel fell back against the sink. She was in Lima, at McKinley and now she knew she was going to be working alongside Quinn Fabray. A smile spread across her face. Being back at McKinley was suddenly a lot more interesting.

xoxo

A/N: I have finished the story, just got to do final chapter edits and upload.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2:**

Rachel had the room ready, she'd even changed her outfit. The cleaners had looked at her clothes and sighed and she knew there was little chance she'd wear them again. She closed her eyes and memories flooded back of when she was here, when she sang and when she loved and then there was Quinn. When she opened them Brad was sat at the piano and it felt like nothing had changed. A boy stood in the doorway. The one from the morning, the one that reminded her of Finn.

"Ms Berry?" he stepped in nervously.

"You've come to audition." She asked a little too eagerly. This boy had to be the quarterback. If he was in, then she knew others would follow.

"Audition?" he rubbed his forehead in confusion. She could see that thinking taxed him almost as much as it used to trouble Finn. "I, um, I came to say sorry. For the slushy I mean. I honestly didn't mean to get you. Ricky pushed me. It was just bad timing, Mrs Andrews got all mad on me. Anyway. Sorry. Like really."

"I forgive you..." She paused still unaware of his name.

"I'm Jimmy miss."

"Can you sing?" Rachel wasn't letting him go.

"Never tried."

"Favourite song? Favourite band?"

"I like, um you know, stuff." He shrugged.

"Brad?" she turned to the piano and he nodded before playing a few notes. Rachel began to sing and Jimmy watched her, transfixed. "You know this one?" he nodded and she encouraged him to join in.

As they sang along together she felt a thrill at what she'd discovered. Jimmy could sing. He was tall, handsome and hopefully popular. He would be her star recruit.

"That was pretty awesome." Jimmy was looking around the room when he saw the drum kit and sat himself down. "I used to play, before football." He shrugged. "but we don't get much time for anything else now. Coach works us hard."

"You'll join glee though?" Rachel asked anxiously. "We can fit around practice and it'll look good on your college applications."

"I'll think about it." He smiled his winning smile and held Rachel's expectant gaze for longer than she was comfortable. Averting her eyes she saw Quinn watching them from the doorway.

"Ms Berry, you got a second?" Quinn's old coldness now seemed to be her permanent persona. Although she was talking to Rachel, her eyes never left Jimmy.

"Quinn, I mean, Mrs Andrews." Rachel felt flustered as she followed Quinn out into the hall.

"Best not to be alone with a student. Rules are strict here." Quinn tapped her fingers against the door frame.

"I'm not alone." Rachel pointed back into the room. "Brad's with me."

"Brad?" Quinn peered back in and finally noticed Brad sat at the piano. "How did you find him?" she smiled warmly, it was nice to see another old face. "Nothing should surprise me when you're involved though should it?"

Rachel picked up on the warmth in Quinn's tone and she found herself smiling at her expectantly. They'd left High School as almost friends. She hoped that was something that could now be possible. They'd talked of staying in touch, but it never happened and life had passed a lot quicker than Rachel could have imagined. A lot had changed since the last time they'd seen each other. It had surprised her to find that Quinn was now married, but she'd get to asking questions about that another time.

"I should get back. It's almost audition time."

"I'll leave you to it." Quinn stepped back, before looking back at Rachel. "Just watch Jimmy, he's charming, but he's trouble too. His on off girlfriend Mischa...well that girl is more trouble than Santana. Any problems and you come see me."

"Thanks Quinn." Rachel placed a hand on Quinn's arm and held her in place for a moment. "It's lovely to see you again." Rachel had a lot to say but before she could continue Quinn had shook her grip and was walking away.

xoxo

Lunch had ended and Rachel had three more members. Admittedly they were the only three that had turned up and she couldn't push them away for lack of talent. She knew that a good club needed diversity and maybe one of these kids would turn out to be a dancer like Mike, or sway like Tina.

She needed numbers if they were to compete and with Jimmy she had four, but she knew getting him to commit to glee wouldn't be an easy task.

"No, this won't do at all." She said to herself as she packed up her sheet music. Making her way towards the principals office, she saw Quinn sat behind a desk, reading.

"Rachel!" Quinn looked up flustered at the intrusion.

"Three kids Quinn! Three. Why doesn't anyone want to express themselves anymore. Music and the arts are fading away and why? I just need to get a club together, to get out there and win. Show them that it means something to compete and to have talent. I need you to send some students to me. You promised you'd help."

Quinn had one eye on Rachel and one on the class that were watching the one sided conversation with great amusement.

"I'll talk to you in the staff room." Quinn glared at Rachel, hoping it would stop her talking.

"It can't wait Quinn. I need this. Please."

Quinn took Rachel's hands loosely in her own. Nodding her ascent. "I'll help, but right now I've got a class Rach."

"Oh!" Rachel turned to see a room full of faces looking at her. Where others may have blushed, Rachel beamed. She loved attention it was part of who she was. "Hello, I'm Ra, I'm Ms Berry."

"You're the woman on the wall." A girl piped up.

"Woman on the what?" Rachel felt panic grip her, she remembered the pornographic pictures that were once scrawled on the toilet walls. She turned to Quinn searching for an explanation.

"Principal Stephens created a tribute. Some of your work, some playbills. It's next to the auditorium. You really can't miss it."

"Lovely." Rachel calmed, already planning a trip to the auditorium before she headed home. She turned back to the class. "I would love to see some of you in glee club. Singers? dancers? Any talent, any itch that some of you might want to scratch. I have always said Glee club is what gave me the strength to fight and the head to perform. Your teacher here was also someone that helped give me a push when I needed it. Look where it got me." She shrugged with a faint laugh and felt that some of the class were drawn to her. "Maybe one of you could do better!" she still had the sign up sheet in her hand and passed it to the boy at the front desk, he passed it on without looking so did the next. Then a shy girl looked up at her through her lashes before scribbling her name down. The boy next to her did the same.

"Now can I have my class back?" Quinn handed back the sign up sheet. She had five more names. It was a start.

"For now." Rachel sucked her bottom lip between her teeth and chewed it in a failed attempt to contain the smile on her face.

"Thank you." Quinn was quickly ushering Rachel from the room.

"You can buy me a drink later too." Rachel added as she got to the door. Not giving Quinn the chance to reply.

xoxo

Thirty minutes later and Quinn watched as her class filed out. She sat back behind her desk and shook her head, but she couldn't help but smile. Her world had changed in just a few hours. She was stunned. Rachel Berry was in Lima. She was back and she was as consuming as ever.

Seeing Rachel this morning was one thing, now she found she was already agreeing to help her out and tonight there were drinks. She could never say no to Rachel, not back in High School and not now.

"Oh Fabray." Sue Sylvester had been watching her from the open doorway as she agonised over her thoughts. Quinn hated and loved Sue in the same breath. It worked well when she was a student here and it worked better now she was a teacher. Somehow they survived each other.

"Trouble Sue?" She questioned nonchalantly.

"Berry is in town, of course there's trouble. I get the feeling you've already met it. The soft eyes Q. Always soft."

"She's starting the glee club again. I think it's a good idea." Quinn ignored Sue's digs.

"Of course you do Q. Makes me wonder why I didn't put more focus on that other one, the Latina, but then Berry got to her too, made her soft. Saddens me." Sue clutched her chest as if she actually meant it, but Quinn knew better.

"I'm helping. Maybe McKinley can make a mark again. It's been too long since this school won something."

"Too long since I had my full cheerios budget Q! Back then we were everything and you were the girl that could make it. But you let it slide. Babies!" Sue sighed.

"One baby. My Beth." Quinn growled. She could hold it together most of the time but she had her weaknesses and Sue was always happy to poke.

"End of your prospects though. You can see that now." Sue's eyes shone as she affirmed her point.

"Sue." Quinn sucked in a deep breath. "I graduated, I studied. I'm teaching English here now and I'm happy."

"Still a poor liar Q. Such a shame I lost you."

"Lost me?"

"To that lump Schue and that vile little dwarf Berry. Nothing came between you and Berry. I remember you pleading for that year book spread. I should have taken you all down then. I'm still grieving over it now."

"Seriously?" Quinn sighed she'd heard it all before. Sue was as bitter as ever.

"You say you're happy?" Sue stepped closer to Quinn. "Still the best liar I ever met." She winked knowingly and left the room.

Quinn was stuck in her chair, she hadn't the energy to move. Despite what she'd assured Sue, she wasn't sure she really was happy. That question had been a recurring theme lately. She'd returned to Lima. She met someone and married. She was supposed to be happy. Her job was more fulfilling than she'd actually dreamed. She liked it, she liked her students, but then Rachel was in that hallway this morning and the questions returned.

She knew in her heart that the instant she saw Rachel in the hall this morning was the moment she felt the happiest she'd felt since high school. Notably she wasn't happy in high school . But she was happy when Rachel sang, when she planned and schemed and when Rachel made her own dreams come true. She was proud that she'd helped send Rachel on her way. That Rachel hadn't settled, that she'd made it regardless of all the doubts and the troubles she'd faced along the way. Rachel was worthy of the wall that they dedicated to her. She was worthy of so much more.

Why Rachel was in Lima had her confused, but she'd not really been looking for an answer to that question, instead she'd allowed herself to get wrapped up in Rachel's project to re-establish the glee club.

The bell rang and her next class arrived and then the next. She cruised through the afternoon. Work had her focus, but now the end of day was here and that meant drinks. She had so many questions, it had been a long time since they'd seen each other.

Grabbing her purse, Quinn made her way back to her car. A group of seniors were still hanging out and she stopped for a moment and listened. Jimmy was talking to Mischa, his arms moving as he passionately recounted his meeting with Ms Berry. Mischa was visibly irritated, Quinn watched as the girl folded her arms, resisting all her boyfriends attempts to reason with her.

"You should sign up." Quinn interrupted, making her presence known.

"You what?" Mischa was ready to pounce until she was met with Quinn's cold stare. "Oh, sorry, Mrs Andrews." Mischa quickly backed down. Quinn had helped her out plenty of times in and out of class and Mischa liked her, but she tried not to show it too often.

"Glee club. Rach, I mean Ms Berry, well she's amazing. You want to make something of yourself? Get out of Lima? She could be that ticket."

"Maybe I will miss." Mischa softened until her focus returned to Jimmy. "Gotta keep an eye on him either way." She added.

"I'll tell Ms Berry you're in then." Quinn smiled, she knew Rachel would be pleased at having members even if she wasn't completely aware of what she was letting herself in for.

Quinn knew that where Mischa went the others followed. They weren't all chasing the quarter back like Rachel once had.

With Mischa Rachel had a chance. One thing Quinn believed in was Rachel's ability to make a bunch of misfits into something special. She'd done it before when they were students and she could easily do it now.

Whatever anyone else said about those days Quinn had always seen the truth that Rachel was the heart of glee, the one they all needed to make it. No matter how much they knocked her down or pulled her to pieces, Rachel kept coming back. She believed in them all and Quinn had always believed in her.

The only other car in the lot was Sue's. She walked to her own, wondering if Rachel had really meant they should have drinks and how she'd get in touch, when she found a note pinned under her wiper. She should have known Rachel would find a way to contact her.

'Quinn, I have to take a call at 4pm so rushed back to my Dad's. Meet you at Breadstix at 7pm. Have booked a table. Hope you can make it. R x'

Quinn read the note twice before punching the number scrawled at the bottom of the page into her phone. For the last three weeks she'd gone home, skipped dinner and sunk into her bed alone and not emerged until morning. Her life had been all about her work lately but the moment she knew Rachel was working at McKinley too was the moment she knew everything would change.

xoxo


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3:**

At 6.50pm Quinn parked her car. She didn't need to drive, she lived a ten minute walk away, but a car would help her refrain from drinking too much and she felt it was important to keep her head together around Rachel. She'd had the afternoon to think and she had questions to ask.

Catching her reflection in the glass doors she quickly straightened her clothes before pulling the door open. She'd spent two hours deciding that she shouldn't change, then at the last minute she pulled out a dress that she'd never had the chance to wear. Maybe it was too much, but when she saw Rachel sat at the corner booth, she felt underdressed.

She didn't have designer outfits like that in her wardrobe, her salary didn't allow it, but then she didn't attend awards dinners or have to promote her work like Rachel must have to. Rachel stood up as she got closer and Quinn was knocked back.

"You look amazing." Quinn blushed as she raked her eyes over a smiling Rachel.

"As do you. Beautiful." Rachel reached out a hand, taking Quinn's, pulling her closer and placing a kiss on her cheek. "I love your dress. Red really suits you. Oh Quinn, it's truly good to see you."

"I..."Quinn was lost for words and grateful when the waiter appeared. He placed two glasses and a bottle on the table and Quinn looked at Rachel curiously.

"I thought I'd order. It's the only decent wine they have on the menu so I thought I'd get a bottle. You drink red?"

"I do." She nodded and took a sip. Perhaps driving wasn't the best idea.

"It's not bad." Rachel topped up their glasses. "Only one vegan dish though!"

"You're surprised that breadstix is still as bad as it was?"  
"I'm surprised it's still open! I'm sure there are better places in Lima, I was just feeling a little nostalgic earlier."

"Being at McKinley?"

"Seeing you." Rachel spoke softly her eyes not leaving Quinn's. For a moment they just sat there. Quinn couldn't think of what to say.

"I saw you on Broadway." Quinn eventually spoke. "You were something else. Everything I thought you would be and then some."

"You didn't come and say hi?" Rachel was offended and it showed.

"I didn't. I couldn't stay and well you were busy and the stage door was rammed. I thought I'd leave you to shine and take in your moment." Quinn smiled warmly as she remembered seeing Rachel lapping up the praise that she totally deserved. Now she was sitting looking at her across a table at Breadstix, she hadn't imagined them being here together ever again.

"Quinn, I'd have loved to see you. I never knew." Rachel thumped her fist on the table lightly. "We could have...I mean...well it, it's been too long Quinn." Rachel shook her head. "We start again now."

"We do, we can. I just can't believe you're in Lima. At McKinley of all places." Quinn couldn't help but ask. "Why?"

"You came back." Rachel tried to shrug off the question, but Quinn's look wouldn't let her. "I got tired Quinn. Don't you ever get tired?"

"I never won a Tony. I thought that would give you energy for a thousand years."

"As supporting actor? I'm not saying I'm not thrilled, I'm still amazed at it, but I guess I thought it was the beginning yet at times I feel like it was the end. I made it too soon. I've worked non-stop since then and fought so hard to make my career work. I make plenty of money and I never stop working because they never let me. They just want receipts and they don't care what that does to a person. To me. ...sorry." Rachel stopped, her eyes clouded.

"What happened Rachel?" Quinn reached out her hand and took Rachel's. She didn't try to hide she was concerned and she could see how Rachel was struggling to hold it together.

"I got broken. I pushed, they pushed me back and in the end I broke. Maybe I've been fighting too long, it's always been me, pushing, making my point. Proving I belong. Then I made it, but what for?"

"You wanted to be a star." Quinn assured.

"I did." Rachel nodded. "I wanted it. I got it. Now I don't know what I want anymore. What comes next? So, yeah, now I'm here. Have you ever felt lost Quinn? Thought you knew who you were, but then found you have no idea, no control? Well, that's how I feel, that's why I came home. I needed my Dads and something simple."

"But now you're at school, that wasn't in your plans?"

"No, but I got bored. I love my Dads but really it doesn't take long for me to need something else to focus on. I needed a challenge and then I found out there's no arts programme at McKinley! I couldn't have that Quinn." Rachel drained her glass before pouring another. "I don't know how could you stand it? Did glee club mean nothing to you?" Rachel hadn't meant the last question to sound so brutal, but to Quinn it was like a punch in the stomach.

"I loved glee." Quinn's voice cracked, she'd heard Rachel out, but didn't expect it to end with a kick like that. "I kind of tried to get something together, but Sue is quite the wall when it comes to getting any artistic funding at school. I've never stopped trying though Rachel. I never would. Glee gave me something, we were all part of something special and of course it helped you on your way."

"And that's why I have to make this happen. I need to give something back because right now I don't feel like anything I do matters. I feel like I'm nothing."

"You'll never be nothing." Quinn took both Rachel's hands in hers and squeezed them firmly. "We all get lost a long the way. Maybe its good to know that even 'the Rachel berry' has moments too."

Rachel looked at Quinn for a moment, then at their hands on the table. Releasing one from Quinn's grip and instantly missing the warmth of the other woman's touch. "I don't feel anything anymore. I stand on stage and its empty. I get up in the morning and I feel empty."

"Then maybe you aren't doing the right thing? Find a new play, something else. Why not TV or film?"

"I'm not for them. I went to LA a few years back now. Lots of auditions, but it wasn't, I wasn't what they wanted."

"They can't see how amazing you are then."

"I don't know Quinn, I'm not the girl you knew in High School. I'm getting too old for this business."

"Nonsense." Quinn laughed. "You're feeling sorry for yourself. That's fine. Soon you'll be desperate to get back on that stage. You live for applause."

"Maybe." Rachel shrugged, she wasn't as convinced as Quinn, things had changed.

"I bet you'll be back in New York sooner than you think."

"I've got six months off. A full on break. You've surely seen the reports by now?" Rachel emptied the bottle of wine between their glasses.

Quinn had looked on the internet that afternoon, but there were a lot of conflicting stories.

"I've seen them. So you either have laryngitis or a drug addiction?" Quinn quirked her eyebrow.

"Exactly." Rachel laughed. "Not allowed a vacation, so we'll go with rehab. Perhaps I like a few too many glasses of wine." Rachel clinked their glasses together. And within a breath another bottle appeared at the table and Quinn gave up any notion of staying sober that night. She couldn't deal with all Rachel's news without a few drinks. She'd pick her car up in the morning.

xoxo

A group walked in just as they finished their meal, some of the boys were in letterman jackets. Quinn saw them and then noticed Rachel was following them too.

"Being here, it's okay?"

"You mean Finn?"

"I do." Quinn hadn't felt sure how to broach the subject. Rachel swilled the drink in her glass for a few moments.

"I loved him." Rachel said flatly. Not looking up.

"I know." Quinn nodded and Rachel finally met her eye.

"I think you did too, but I hope that's not an issue between us?"

"It's been a long time. I wish I'd seen you when it happened."

"I'm sort of glad you didn't. I think seeing you,,,"Rachel swallowed a lump in her throat. "It would have been harder, I don't know why. I guess I'm glad I had the chance to grieve for me and him. I don't think I could have coped if it was for you too." Rachel looked up. "does that sound harsh? I don't mean it to."

"I get it." Quinn didn't think she could have faced Rachel then either. It was too raw. On the brief moments they'd seen each other since, they'd never spoken of him. They'd barely spoken to each other at all.

Now Rachel was in town she had a real chance to change all that, but at the memory of Finn she found herself struggling as if she was treading water. She didn't realise she was crying until she saw that Rachel was.

"I'm sorry." Rachel dried her eyes and looked searchingly at Quinn.

Quinn wasn't quite sure what Rachel was sorry for or what answer she was looking for in her face, somehow she managed to turn her lips into a smile and Rachel reciprocated.

"We should talk about happier times?"

"You got married?" Rachel's eyes widened as she remembered one of the things she'd been desperate to ask about.

Quinn grimaced involuntarily. "I did. Long story." Quinn motioned to the waiter. "Lets go somewhere. I need something stronger." Rachel was quickly emptying notes onto the table. Protesting when Quinn said she'd get it. They split the bill and walked towards a nearby bar.

"This is new." Rachel walked through the door Quinn was holding open.

"Opened last summer. It's about as good as it gets in Lima. I've not bumped into anyone from High School yet, so I like it."

"You're not close with the other teachers?"

"Not so much. Some are okay. I try to keep work and home separate. I took out Miss Hanson one time. BIG mistake." Quinn chuckled and Rachel's interest was piqued. "She liked tequila, she also liked the bar man. I was sat at a stool watching her take shots in between kissing his face off. She later threw up all over my shoes. She can barely look at me now."

"She seems so…nice, so sweet." Rachel laughed, she'd met Miss Hanson. She'd taken a cookie and felt welcomed, but she knew Quinn wasn't making it up. "Like Miss Pilsbury."

"Aren't they all!" Quinn ordered a scotch and waited for Rachel to decide.

"A Daiquiri. I'm feeling indulgent, plus it's a special occasion. Seeing you again." She held Quinn's eyes for a moment.

"So, you're here six months." Quinn closed her eyes as she tasted her drink. "Then what?"

"First I get this glee club to nationals. There are good kids here, well I guess there are good kids everywhere, but I want to do something." Rachel chewed her bottom lip nervously.

Quinn smiled warmly. "I feel the same. They walk in my classroom and I want to give them a chance, some hope. Anything really, its tough being that age. The attitude they fling around makes me want to help them more, but it's not always possible. We can't fix everything, but we get the chance to try and help. I hope I said that the way I meant it. It's hard to express sometimes."

"In the classroom you can offer hope of a different world? The ticket out of here? Just like glee club." Rachel felt proud that she could relate.

"We don't all take the ticket though Rach. I didn't. It kept being offered, but..."

"You did, you just changed the destination and turned it back to Lima, but you got out and you did live and you did dream. I know you did Quinn."

"For a bit. Yeah."

"So what changed?"

"I was always looking for something that didn't exist. Always seeking someone else to validate me. I thought I found that."

"Oh yeah, back to the marriage! You'd thought I'd forgotten." Rachel giggled but Quinn wasn't smiling. "You don't have a happy marriage?"

"I..." Quinn didn't want to talk about her relationship with Greg, but she'd no way out now. The scotch was warming her insides and Rachel was a willing listener. "It was a whirlwind, that's what happened. Greg came along and it felt so right. He bought me back here when my Mum got sick and stayed with me. He was more than I could have asked for. Made all the decisions, made me feel safe."

"But it's not what you want now?"

"I don't know." Quinn shrugged. "We've separated."

"Oh."

"He says I need time to work out what I want. Says i'm not all there for him anymore, whatever that means."

"Do you love him?" Rachel's question was simple but blunt.

Quinn didn't answer, she emptied her glass and studied the room. "I'm not sure I've ever..." she stopped. "He's my best friend." She concluded.

Rachel wasn't satisfied. "That's not a reason to spend a life time together."

"I thought it was once."

"But what about passion?"

"I don't think…I don't need that…" Quinn shook her head slowly as she spoke.

"I think that's sad Quinn."

"Maybe." Quinn sighed. "I thought I could love him, I do think I do love him, but…"

"He doesn't make you feel that thing?"

"Like when your heart beats that little bit faster, your face turns into a smile when you see the person you love? I don't know if that's possible. I had that with Beth for a heartbeat, but I let it go."

"Quinn." Rachel swallowed thickly, but the tears slipped from her eyes.

"You don't need to cry for me Rachel. I've cried enough. I'm happy to accept this is my lot."

"I think you're crazy to just accept that."

"How could you understand? It's different for you. You always will be special and adored. I'm just me. I belong here."

"I don't agree." Rachel shook her head. "I may be adored on stage but the rest of my days are lonely. Too lonely."

"I find that hard to believe. I've seen photos of you with this guy and the next." Quinn was quick to dismiss Rachel, but Rachel wasn't going to let her.

"I need 'dates' for public events, It's just how it works. I've had a handful of relationships but nothing that really counted and I really do get lonely. I find it hard to say, but it's true. If only...look I never want someone else to know how it feels, but yeah I find myself envying others. People that settle down and find someone and have kids. I found the _something _but not the person. Turns out it's not enough. I've never had someone to go home to, someone that cared where I was that wasn't making money from me. Someone that made me pancakes for breakfast!"

"And you think coming back to Lima can change that? Are you looking for another Finn?" Quinn couldn't help herself.

"No." Rachel shook her head. "I'm here for me. I think maybe I have some big choices ahead, but I need to figure out what I want first and I can't do that in New York. I feel I can barely breathe there at the moment."

"It's a lot quieter here." Quinn agreed as she finished her drink. She scanned the room before looking back at Rachel. "Too quiet." A familiar song came on in the background, Quinn heard Rachel hum along. "You belong to Broadway." Quinn added after a moment, she just couldn't see how Rachel could give up on her dream so easily.

"Maybe I do, but right now I belong to Lima and I'm needed here."

"It just doesn't make sense to me."

"But it does to me and maybe it's not just about the glee club, maybe I'm meant to be here because you're here." Rachel's eyes flashed as she stared Quinn down.

"Because I'm here? What are you going to do? Save me from my safe little life as a High school English teacher. I love my job."

"Or from accepting that being a teacher is all you are."

"I'm happy."  
"You're not." Rachel wasn't backing down. "So what fabray, you don't think I can save you."

"I don't need saving Berry." Quinn laughed, she was enjoying watching Rachel get worked up.

"Pah." Rachel waved her hand dismissively, she was half joking, making an attempt to wind Quinn up, but as the words came out of her mouth she couldn't help but wondering if this is what she was meant to do.

Quinn had once told her she didn't belong here. She'd helped her on her way, but somehow this is where they'd both ended up. She couldn't help but wonder if Quinn was as lost as she was.

As Rachel's head filled with a new goal, she sipped on her third daiquiri and another song played in the background that she couldn't quite place.

"This song always makes me think of you." Quinn said quietly and Rachel felt the strings pull at her heart. She looked at Quinn searchingly but she didn't know what question she needed to ask.

"Dance?" Rachel didn't wait for an answer. They'd spent their youth singing and dancing their hearts out, it's how they expressed themselves throughout high school.

"You sure?" Quinn looked at her quizzically, remembering how Rachel never liked to dance.

"I always looked to you." Rachel grinned. Seeing Quinn had brought back a lot of old memories.

Quinn smiled warmly. "It's good to have you back Rach."

The song played and Rachel sang along quietly. Only Quinn could hear and although she was meant to be resting her voice, she felt so relaxed that she couldn't help herself.

She was whirling around and felt free, she didn't notice the guy in a booth filming her on his phone. Rachel stumbled and Quinn quickly reached out, stopping her from falling.

"I think we should call it a night." Quinn settled their tab. "I can't handle those kids tomorrow if I have a bad head."

Rachel wanted to stay, but she knew she'd had too much to drink. They were laughing as they left the bar and she couldn't have imagined a better evening.

"Goodnight." Quinn offered a half smile, but Rachel could't contain her excitement.

"That was the best night I've had in years. We should do it again...if you want?" her nerves crept back in as she examined Quinn's face, always struggling to read the blonde.

"We'll do it again, definitely. We've got six months, but I think you'll be sick of this place and me before that time is up."

"I doubt that. I'd like it if we could try and be friends now, we never really managed it before, but well I hope you want that too."

"I..."Quinn shook her head playfully, but her smile won out. "I'd love that."

"Come here." Rachel pulled Quinn into a hug, but it felt strange immediately. They'd never been close, but Rachel had wanted to hold her and now she was, all she could feel was how rigid Quinn was in her arms. She could only think that Quinn wasn't used to hugging her friends so she let go quickly. "Goodnight Quinn." she said softly as Quinn opened the door for the taxi. She turned back to see Quinn waving as she drove away. She didn't think she would ever stop smiling. For the first time in years, Rachel felt truly happy.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4:**

Rachel found glee club was consuming, but her thoughts were often about Quinn. The morning after their night out, she woke with a sore head, but a happy heart. She wouldn't touch Daiquiri's again, but she did plan to go out with Quinn as soon as she could find time to track her down.

The school week ended fast and she hadn't crossed paths with Quinn once and she still hadn't got her number. So she joined her Dads at the local food festival, but she found herself scanning the crowd far to frequently hoping that Quinn might magically appear.

By Monday morning, Rachel couldn't wait any longer. She was on her way to Quinn's classroom when she saw Jimmy and Mischa sitting by the piano.

"Ms Andrews said I should come see you." Mischa stood up when Rachel walked in the room.

Rachel grinned, at least Quinn was still trying to help her get a club together. The second Mischa started singing and Rachel knew they had someone special. She was mesmerising.

Once Mischa was signed up, her friends followed and by the time Rachel had a minute to herself it was the end of Lunch.

They had a club and now she could find Quinn, just as she was about to go looking she was stopped by Sue standing legs apart, hands on hips, blocking her way.

"Lovely to see you Sue." She feigned warmth, but knew she was about to be cut down.

"Berry! So you failed and ended up back at High School? Well, I'd like to say its good to see you, but that'd be a lie as you've always been a poisoned dwarf that needed bringing down. Now I can own you, just like I owned Will! I own you Berry!" Sue pointed her finger at Rachel, holding her in a gaze for a moment.

"I did not fail and you really don't own me. I'm doing this for nothing." Rachel rolled her eyes.

Sue laughed heartily "And nothing is what you'll get. Nothing is what you will give to these poor, poor kids. Kids that you think you can build up just to knock them down. I destroyed this club once and I can do it again. Glee fails here and you will fail."

"We won nationals. McKinley has a history of success and as bitter as you are Sue you can't change that. Mrs Stephens is all for this, you can't stop us." Rachel could feel her heart pounding in her chest. She was ready to fight for this.

"I'll try and I will win! So watch your back midget. Sue Sylvester means business."

Sue laughed as she slammed the door shut and Rachel shuddered. Sue may be ageing, but she was still a worthy adversary.

Rachel sighed, she wanted to help, but if Sue needed to fight, then that's what she'd do. By the time she got to Quinn's classroom she was surprised to find it empty, so she went back to thinking up set lists and costumes and watching clips of their competitors. She wanted to know them inside out and make sure they could win.

It was late Thursday afternoon by the time she finally saw Quinn again. Sue had changed the locks to the choir room and Rachel was fuming. She'd found the janitor and finally got the room open only to turn and see Sue stood at the end of the hall laughing. "I'll find another way to stop you dwarf. That was just the beginning."

Rachel narrowed her eyes but refused to rise to Sue, instead she found herself marching the other way down the halls. With a purpose she stormed into Quinn's class room. The same room she'd accidentally on purpose walked past three times a day all week, but not once had Quinn turned to notice her. Not once had Quinn been in the staff room on her break.

"Sue." Was all she said as Quinn visibly shrunk behind her desk.

"Not now, Rachel." Quinn used her best steely glare but it was no match for a determined Rachel, it never really had been.

"She's crazed. Just threatened me." Rachel continued. "and I hate being called a dwarf."

"I'll talk to her." Quinn assured, but Rachel knew she didn't have her full attention. The room was empty bar one girl sat at a desk in the middle of the room making notes.

"Someone has to stop her. She took glee club once. What if she does it again? I don't think I could handle it. I don't think I could stop myself from doing something to that evil women. Ugh she makes me so angry."

"I can't now, Rachel please!" Quinn stood up and took Rachel's arm, leading her from the room. "I've a student."

"She's only making notes." Rachel glanced at the girl and shrugged.

"She's taking a makeup test."

"Oh." Rachel felt her cheeks redden. "I'm sorry. It's just I've not seen you all week. Did I say something, do something?" Rachel remembered the awkward hug at the end of the night. It had been playing on her mind all week.

"It's just been a tough week. We're good. Friends." Quinn reassured, but her eyes were back on the girl in her classroom.

"I..." Rachel didn't want to push her.

"I better get back." Quinn had closed the door before Rachel could say anything in response.

xoxo

"You know Quinn Fabray teaches at the school?" She asked her dad that night at dinner.

"You may have mentioned it a few times."

"But did you know before I told you?" She persisted.

"After Judy got sick, well yes. Quinn came back to Lima and we got to know her."

"You're friends of Judy's? I can't get that." Rachel shook her head incredulously.

"Things happen Rachel. She's not a bad woman. She came back for Quinn when she was pregnant."

"I don't think I ever saw her again, you know. Is that odd?"

"It wasn't a good house and Russell was not a good Dad. Quinn must have found it hard growing up in a home like that. We all know Judy had her troubles but since she joined the theatre group, well we all became friends. Albeit slowly."

"She's a friend? I can't see Daddy sharing a drink with her."

"No drinks, Judy doesn't now. She can't forgive herself. Did you know that? She wasn't there for Quinn and she regrets that. Then she got sick. Her heart is weak and that's how we got closer to her. Since Hiram..." Leroy choked a little. "She's been good to me and Quinn was too."

"Quinn?"

"She came to see us both a few times. Asked about you of course. Told us all about how amazing you were on stage. In fact we couldn't get a word in. She really thought you were something else. You obviously mean a lot to her."

"Did you know that she didn't bother to come and find me afterwards? To come to New York and then just leave, does that make sense to you?"

"I guess not, but you know she sounded like quite the fan." Leroy winked and Rachel felt at a loss for words.

"And you know she's married?"  
"Hmm." Leroy pursed his lips as he studied Rachel for a moment. "I've met the husband. He's good to Quinn."

"Right, but not good for her in your opinion?" Rachel nodded. "She says they separated."

"I didn't say that and I didn't know."

"But it doesn't surprise you?"

"I..look you should talk to Quinn about all that." Leroy prompted, but Rachel wasn't listening anymore.

xoxo

The next morning Rachel found a note on her desk.

'Sorry about yesterday. Drinks tonight? Can't believe the week I've had. Could do with some good company. Q.'

She saw Quinn's number scrawled at the bottom of the page. Tapping out a message she felt bad for declining, but she'd already made plans with Kurt who was visiting from LA

Quinn's response was prompt.

'I'll see if Miss Hanson is free...maybe i'll dig out the tequila!' Rachel felt a little guilty, she wanted to see Quinn and it sounded like Quinn needed the company, then a second message came through.

'I've nothing on this weekend so let me know if you're free Sat/Sun. Say hi to Kurt from me.'

For a moment Rachel thought perhaps she should invite Quinn along to see Kurt too, but she was feeling selfish and wanted him to herself. He was only in for one night.

'Free saturday.' She replied after ten minutes of typing out similarly worded messages.

'I'll pick you up at your Dads? 9am? We can make a day of it.'

"Perfect." She wasn't sure what state she'd be in at 9am, but Kurt was taking his flying visit literally. A night with Rachel. An early breakfast with his Dad and then back to LA.

Hangover or not, she couldn't resist spending the day with Quinn, she'd been thinking about her all week. How could she save her, did she need saving at all. Time would tell. Rachel needed to get to know her better, they'd both changed a lot over the last few years.

xoxo

"Quinn Fabray!" Kurt was laughing, he hadn't stopped since she'd told him.

"Please!" Rachel couldn't get him to stop, no matter how hard she scowled.

"I'm sorry...No I'm not. Quinn! _the_ Quinn. Oh Rachel." His voice softened.

"What?" She found herself on the defensive.

"Still got high school issues. You talk about Finn?"

"We did. I think we're good. She's changed. We had drinks last week and it was good. Really good." Rachel smiled at the memory and caught Kurt raising his eyebrow at her. "and tomorrow we're going out. I think we could be good friends, you know. We're both older and…things change." Rachel's face filled with a smile as she talked and she saw Kurt watching her with interest.

"Oh yeah. Both older and a lot has changed. So you just want her friendship?" Kurt chuckled and Rachel lightly shoved him. "Oh come on Rachel, you don't still have that secret crush on her?"

"I never had a crush." Rachel narrowed her eyes but a smile played at her lips. "She's straight, we're going to be friends."

"Oh my little star." He shook his head. "You should tell her."

"There is nothing to tell. I'm getting another bottle, when you choose to listen to me and stop acting like you know everything, well then we can talk." She huffed and he laughed into his hand.

"Works for me, we've got some serious talking to do! You'll be back on the stage in a month?" he pressed.

"Not so soon." She shrugged.

"Slow and painful death, leads to nothing!" Kurt was harsh, his humour over Quinn had dissipated. "I love you Rachel, you're making a mistake right now."

"I will be back. Someday." Rachel sighed. She was getting tired of arguing with everyone. She wasn't in a hurry to get back to New York at all.

"Not if you sit around Lima playing High school with Quinn. Get back to Broadway Rachel. You don't need to be away too long. There are people lining up to fill your shoes. No one takes a break."

"I'm in rehab. Officially." She countered, it was the new official line since images of her and Quinn dancing and drinking had made it on to the internet. Her agent had gone mad at her and she'd agreed to what he wanted.

"Lima is not rehab. You stay here and there'll be talk of you having a breakdown. You can't procrastinate here and run a glee club. I'm your friend you need to listen to me. You've worked too hard to get where you are."

"I did and then nothing. Come on Kurt, you know how tough it gets. I need to refresh. I'm doing that. Being here reminds me of what I once wanted to be."

"Memories are fun Rach, but just remember time is not on your side. You know how this business works."

"I will be back in September."

"And Quinn? Is it really good to be getting involved with her now? Honestly, I think she's a distraction too far for you."

"Quinn isn't part of my career."

"Make sure you remember that."

"Listen, by September, I'll be back on Broadway and Quinn and I will be the best of friends and you'll wonder why you ever came here to judge me." Rachel pouted over her glass of wine, but she wasn't convincing herself and she knew she wasn't convincing Kurt.

"The longer you lie to yourself Berry." He muttered. Rachel heard him, but she didn't want to argue anymore.

"How about we get that wine ordered and you tell me everything about this new show!" she changed the subject, she wanted to enjoy her time with him. She got so little of it since he left New York.

"Talk about me? Oh absolutely." Kurt gushed on about how he was working with some of the most talented people he'd ever met and Rachel enthused at all the right moments.

They'd had fun, they always did now. She really didn't get to see him enough, but she found herself checking her messages every now and then. Eventually sending one to Quinn while Kurt was in the restroom.

'Still on for tomorrow or you and Miss Hanson drowning in Tequila?' She had felt a pang of jealousy at Quinn hanging out with Miss Hanson, she couldn't deny it.

'Oh it's all messy over here Rach, maybe you should come rescue me.'

The thought of rescuing Quinn hadn't left her mind all week, now she felt her heart racing as she wondered what Quinn was up to and what she could do to help.

'Quinn? I'm worried, should I be worried? I can be there in ten.' Kurt would have to understand, yes she was ditching him for Quinn and she knew he'd give her that look again, but it's what she thought she needed to do.

'Only joking R. I'm in bed! Opted for an early night. You can take me for drinks tomorrow night. How's Kurt?' Rachel felt the relief wash over her and then a smile formed on her face.

'Good! u had me worried for a minute there. Miss Hanson? Tequila? I was thinking all sorts of wrong. Anyway Kurt says hi and I'm looking forward to tomorrow.'

'No wrong here. I'll save that and the tequila for you. x Night Rach x'

"Night Q x'

Kurt coughed as he sat down and his attention made her flush. She covered her phone with her hand, but she knew he'd seen it and probably the silly smile she knew she was unable to hide.

"Quinn is still that mean girl inside. They don't ever really change and I'd hate to see you waste your time on her." He pressed her hand, but she pulled it away.

"I'm able to work out what and who she is. You shouldn't be so quick to judge."

"Sure." He nodded, accepting he was being hard on her. "And you know what?" he added with a wink. "I always thought she had a thing for you. Like a total repressed thing, but it helped explain how cruel she could be, maybe I was right!"

"I don't think so." Rachel shook her head, but she found she was curious as to why he'd say that.

"You should give it a go. You haven't been seeing anyone recently, so why not. You two could be the perfect couple." And now she knew he was only playing with her, he didn't even hide the sarcastic sneer as he swirled the straw in his glass.

"Shut up Kurt." Rachel snapped, she didn't like him teasing her. "Let me work myself out. Quinn is nothing to do with this." She was almost able to convince herself as Kurt nodded back at her. He changed the subject and the rest of the evening passed quickly.

They laughed and then they cried and although she'd meant to take it easy she was tipsy when she got home, she'd tried to resist that extra glass, but she couldn't argue with Kurt when they were having a good time.

xoxo

"Fun with Kurt?" Hiram poured her a coffee the next morning.

"He's good. Busy as ever."

"Leroy told me you're spending time with Quinn?" Rachel flushed as he changed the subject and she noticed her father was eyeing her curiously over his glasses.

"She's teaching at the school, but you already knew that right?"

"It's hard to forget what she put you through at High school."

"And I put her through things too. I took Finn, she's changed. I've changed."

"Yet it's still Quinn. Rachel and Quinn." his frown subsided, but he didn't' say another word, just stirred the spoon in his cup.

"I had enough of this from Kurt last night. I like Quinn. I'm in Lima for me and now I'm here for glee. It's important. Without glee club, where would I be? And honestly I could do with a friend, Quinn knows me for who I was and really I don't have many friends. People don't seem to like me."

"They do." He assured, but she shook her head. "I guess Quinn can't be all bad. She was kind. When I had my heart attack. She came around a bit and helped Leroy. They listened to some show tunes. Got him through when I was stuck in hospital."

"When I should have been here?" Rachel felt the tears forming in her eyes, she felt so guilty for not being here when she was needed.

"You couldn't be. We both know it. Quinn was...well perhaps she's all you ever saw in her and everything that I struggle to see."

"I don't get it Daddy."

"You will. She's as stubborn as you. That's easy for anyone to see. Just don't let that stop you being friends or whatever you need to be. I know how difficult you can be. I get the impression Quinn can be just as fiery so do yourself a favour and suck it up sometimes Rachel."

"I'm not stubborn." Rachel stuck out her bottom lip, but she heard what he was saying.

"That's my girl." Hiram chuckled. "Have fun today and if you really like Quinn, well don't give up when it gets rough, because knowing you it will." He kissed her on the forehead and left her to her thoughts.

But Rachel couldn't deal with her thoughts, she'd gotten used to drowning them in a bottle or two of wine at the end of a night. When they lingered they tormented her and quickly filled her head with self doubt. Doubts that had ripped her from the stage, left her with questions of why she was doing any of this. She'd been running away from those nagging thoughts and Glee club had held her focus for a few seconds, but now there was Quinn and all the comments her Dad and Kurt had made swirling around her mind.

Sipping her coffee she heard a car outside and she smiled to herself. She didn't have to think right now. Grabbing her coat she waited by the door. She had a day to spend with Quinn and she was going to enjoy it.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5:**

Quinn switched the engine off and puffed out a deep breath. She'd not been to the Berry's house for a few months and that last time it hadn't been to see Rachel. Years had passed since High school, but now as she walked up towards the door of the Berry's she was reminded of the last time she'd come here to see Rachel.

There was a party and she got drunk. Then she watched as Rachel kissed Blaine and then she got a bit more drunk, something she found she did a lot when Rachel was making out with guys.

"I was just thinking about that party you had," she said the instant Rachel opened the door, without even saying a hello.

"Don't." Rachel shook her head and scrunched up her face at the memory, but after a breath she burst out laughing.

"Blaine!"

"I said don't, that was the night Finn called me a needy drunk. So I turned my need to Blaine. I thought he might have been into me, I practically stalked him. Too embarrassing!" Rachel hooked her arm in Quinn's and walked with her to the car.

Quinn couldn't stop smiling. It was fun looking back, but she enjoyed being here with Rachel now. "So where shall we go?"

"I have no idea, but could we start with a coffee? My Dad doesn't make it strong enough."

"Or perhaps you had a little too much fun with Kurt last night?"

"I may have indulged a little. My head is good though and I'm still going to get you drinks later. I promised."

"That you did. Waking me up like that, it's the least you owe me." Quinn jested.

"I woke you? I didn't notice the time." Rachel protested, but Quinn quickly took the phone from her hand.

"You see the big clock there..."

"Whatever." Rachel giggled. She'd been aware of the time last night, she'd just wanted to know what Quinn was doing and with half a bottle of wine in her stomach she'd felt brave enough to ask.

"So do I have to confiscate your phone tonight, or am I the only one you drunk text?" Quinn was laughing as she opened her car door and climbed in.

"The only one." Rachel replied softly as she walked to the passenger side. She knew Quinn didn't hear and she also knew there was no one she'd be texting tonight. Quinn always had her full attention.

They were soon sharing tales from the last few years over a strong coffee. Rachel felt alive again and not just because the caffeine was waking her up. She hadn't laughed so much in a long time, but inevitably the day passed too soon. They walked and talked and managed to forget to eat any lunch. By the time they sat down to an early dinner they were both hungry. The glass of wine, Rachel was trying to sip, went straight to her head.

"What does Kurt think about you being in Lima?"

"Oh you know, says it's a waste of my talent. Same line as everyone else."

"Will you listen to any of us?"

"I listen to you."

"I find that hard to believe."

"I think you all just need to listen to me. I need some time. I have feelings and things I want to work out. What if I like it more in Lima?"  
"Lima is safe. You don't do safe." Quinn put her hand over her glass, she couldn't drink anymore if she was driving Rachel home.

"I wish you'd let me call a cab." Rachel put the bottle back on the table. "Is that why you like it here, you need to be safe?"

"It's easy. I was struggling before, after I graduated things were tough. I got a good job, but lost it with cut backs and that was tough. So I had to rethink a lot of things. Teaching just happened. Coming back to Lima happened."

"Marrying a guy happened." Rachel scoffed.

"Something like that. " Quinn dismissed. "But why did you never, you know…no one serious?"

"Oh my life is a whole lot of complicated. I think we'll save that for another time."

"Sure." Quinn could tell Rachel was building her walls and she wasn't ready to try and bring them down tonight. "Next time you should come for dinner." Quinn changed the subject to the bill she'd been reading over. The food hadn't been that good for the price. She looked up to see a slightly alarmed look on Rachel's face. "What? I'm a good cook." She reassured.

"I didn't...dinner at yours, we could do that."

"How about Wednesday? I have after school clubs, but Wednesday is my free night."

"Yeah I can do that." Rachel swirled the remnants of her drink around her glass. The day was over and she felt overwhelmingly sad.

"You had fun today though?" Quinn saw the conflict on Rachel's face.

"The best." She enthused, a smile returning to her lips. She'd not had a day like that in forever. They'd shopped, they'd had ice cream. They talked about old friends and past times. They ate well, but she was still left wanting something.

"So..."

"I'll bring dessert on Wednesday." Rachel paused. "I just don't want tonight to be over. It feels too soon."

"You could come back for coffee?" Quinn shook her head as she said it and Rachel shook hers in return.

"Wednesday." I don't want you to get bored of me.

Quinn smiled, but she knew she couldn't get bored of Rachel, she didn't want the day to end either.

xoxo

Rachel felt her nerves kick in as she walked the steps on Wednesday morning. The day with Quinn had been amazing. She finally got the feeling they could be friends, but with that thought came another. Was friendship what she really wanted? Kurt's jests had been close to the bone. There had always been something about Quinn, she couldn't deny that. Their worlds had changed so much since High school and Quinn had been so hard to get to know back then, but Rachel had seen a side Quinn didn't show many others.

She was a little more open now, but Rachel still felt she was barely scratching the surface.

Her Dads both asked lots of questions about the day out they'd shared. Hiram kept calling it a 'date' and Rachel knew it made her blush each time. If it had been a date, it was almost perfect.

When Clem had called her on Sunday she was barely listening, her Dads were still laughing about something Rachel had told them. She tried to pay attention when she was told of a new play, but now wasn't the time, her confidence low. She didn't want to hear about a dream ticket now. She wanted to be in Lima and was in no hurry to leave.

As she pulled the main door open she was quickly brushed aside by a group rushing to first period. She looked up to see Quinn waving at her from across the hall and she felt a warmth fill her from inside as she waved back and struggled to contain her smile.

In a flash Quinn was gone. Classes had already started and she hated that she had arrived so late.

She was still smiling when she got to the choir room, but before she got her things together a text came in from Quinn, postponing their dinner and she felt like a bubble had burst. The wave she'd been riding came crashing to the shore and she was left in a room with Jimmy and Mischa destroying one of her favourite songs.

"No." She slammed the notes in her hand to the floor. "It's not how it's meant to be," she took Mischa's place and led the performance. Jimmy followed her lead and she lost herself in the music. It was a relief to not think, to just perform. She loved how it felt.

"Rachel." Quinn's voice cut through the music and Brad stopped dead on the piano.

Rachel could see that her class was watching her closely, Mischa's eyes were locked on hers and for a moment she felt slightly scared. Jimmy was grinning stupidly next to her and she shook her head. He was too like Finn. Finally her eyes rested on Quinn.

"That's it for today. Mischa?" She turned to the girl that looked almost as angry as Santana on a good day. "Take note. You hold his attention, you'll take the audience. You have that power. You!" she stepped closer to the girl that was now listening to her with interest and not staring at her with anger. "Your talent and his voice. That is what can help us win. You have a presence and the audience will want you. You get it?"

Mishca nodded and the others followed. Jimmy was still leaning on the piano, almost separate from the group. "Jimmy, you need to practice the harmonies. You'll let Mischa down if you keep going flat. You've got a lot of work to do."

"Yes, Miss Berry." He stood up straight.

"We can do this. You can do this." Rachel wrapped up the lesson before facing Quinn. "You okay?"

"I..." Quinn no longer knew what to say. She'd walked in to see Rachel practically devouring Jimmy with her song, but now she felt that she'd been too quick to judge. Rachel was just performing. It's what she did, but for a second there, she'd seen Rachel and Finn. "He's too like Finn."

"A little." Rachel conceded.

"And you miss Finn." Quinn said flatly. It was a statement, not a question. It explained so many things. Why Rachel was single. Why Rachel didn't move on.

"Finn will always be important to me. Jimmy reminds me of him, but that's it." She looked at Quinn pointedly. She knew what was being implied and it was far from the mark.

"I just, what I saw when I walked in, you maybe need to tone it down."

"I'm performing." Rachel rolled her eyes but then tilted her head. "Maybe a little. I forget they're so young, I just want all of them to find the thing that makes them happy. That's all I want for anyone I care about." Rachel locked eyes with Quinn for a second.

"Some people just don't do happy."

"Says Quinn Fabray." Rachel laughed lightly.

"I'm sorry about tonight. I sent that text, then rushed over. I should have just come here first."

"The text?" Rachel replied nonchalantly.

"About dinner?"

"Oh yeah, I got that." Rachel waved her hand dismissively. "No big. Some other time."

"It's just that I heard from Greg. He's home tonight. I have some things to deal with. I can do Friday. I'd love it if you'd come over, Please?"

"Yes," Rachel shook her head, frustrated with herself for doubting Quinn wanted to spend time with her, but also confused about how she felt about Greg being around. "I'm being silly. Friday would be perfect. I'm so tired today. The weekend has caught up with me."

"My place at 8." Quinn quickly jotted down her address. "I know we're both at the same school, but really I feel I barely see you."

"I know!" Rachel had thought it was just her, that Quinn had been avoiding her. She'd spent the last three lunches with Miss Hanson and every other break with Mrs Mckay, but not once had she seen Quinn.

"I like teaching, but I'm not really ecstatic about teaching life." Quinn offered as an explanation. "You won't see me in the staff room too often," she checked her watch. "I've got to go."

"Sure." Rachel nodded.

"See you friday." Quinn didn't look back as she left the room. "Stay over?"

The last words lingered. Rachel called out a "Yes," but Quinn was long gone. It didn't matter, Friday was two days away and tonight she knew Quinn was dropping everything because the husband she was separated from was showing his face.

Rachel hadn't met Greg but she felt she could never like him. She couldn't like anyone that played games with Quinn.

xoxo

Friday night finally arrived and she drove to Quinn's house, parking her car on the street outside. Quinn lived in one of the nicer parts of town, which wasn't a surprise to Rachel. She'd expected something similar to the house the Fabray's had when they were at school, but the house she saw was smaller. A modest house for a teacher. She wondered what Greg did for a living and then the thought that he may be here too hit her for the first time. Surely this was his home too.

She rang the bell hesitantly, but was immediately greeted with a hug, one that was no way near cold like the week before. Once inside the house, she felt its warmth. Quinn had made the house a home and Rachel instantly felt welcome. Something in that house made her feel like she was being given a warm hug and she liked that feeling a lot.

"I love this place." Rachel gushed for the third time in as many minutes.

"Me too." Quinn bit on her bottom lip but it didn't suppress her smile. "It was bare, dull. I've had a lot of time to get it like this. Turns out I like painting and all that house stuff. I guess you get people in. I mean you're a star. People do things for you?"

"I never feel like a star when I'm with you."

"Oh."

"No, I didn't mean it like that. I uh..." Rachel paused. "With you I feel, well I feel like me. It's nice."

Quinn didn't hide her smile at all. "I made a vegan curry. You like hot food? I should have asked."

"I like it hot." Rachel nodded. "It smells really good."

"Hopefully it tastes okay. It's the first time I've made it and I'm always weary of trying out new recipes on people."

"I'm sure it'll be amazing." Rachel followed Quinn into the kitchen. "So you saw Greg." Rachel wanted to know everything. Quinn had been cagey about their relationship so far and Rachel had put it down to her emotions being a little raw from the separation, but now he was around again and she couldn't not ask.

"I did. Things went well and…" Quinn paused as she put the desert in the fridge. "He's coming home for a while, wants to see if we can make a go of it. We agreed to try. I guess I owe him that." She didn't turn to face Rachel once as she spoke.

"Home, here?" Rachel was struggling to process the news.

"It's his place too. He's been traveling so much, it doesn't feel like he lives here anymore."

"I thought you, I uh." Rachel couldn't find anything to say. She knew Quinn was married, but it felt different now.

"It's been a strange few months but we're friends first and he's a good guy. Really he is. I owe him a lot." Quinn shrugged and Rachel felt that Greg had made Quinn feel she owed him something.

Before she could say anything the timer went off on the cooker. "Let me get that and I'll get you some wine." Quinn was quick to escape Rachel's confused gaze.

Rachel took a seat on the couch. Surveying the room her eyes instantly landed on a photo in a black frame. She was drawn to Quinn. She'd looked as beautiful as she'd ever expect on her wedding day. The man next to her seemed a blur, but the blur became more of a focus as she stared. There he was.

"Thank you," she took the glass of red Quinn handed her and sipped it. "This is really good."

"I thought you might like it, I asked for something special and they delivered. You okay?" Quinn had noticed the vacant look on Rachel's face. She followed her eyes to the photo.

"I'm good." Rachel nodded, returning her eyes to Quinn, but a pang of sadness had gripped her chest and she was struggling to shake it off.

"This is amazing." Rachel was busy devouring her plate and it took the edge off the fact they weren't managing to hold a decent conversation for the first time since they'd met up.

"My roommate at Yale was all into Indian food. She over did it, but I learnt some basics. I found this vegan recipe and thought of you. so...well I think I made it into something edible at least."

"I love it, you can cook it for me again."

"I'd love to do that. I'm so sorry I bailed this week. It was strange with Greg being around, but we still have things to work through."

"I don't want to pry."

"You do." Quinn chuckled and Rachel couldn't help but nod and laugh too.

"I thought...I don't know. I guess I thought it was over."

"I thought maybe it was too, but he shows up and he still loves me...what would you do?"

"I couldn't say." Rachel swirled her drink in her glass and watched as the tannins clung to the sides.

"Rachel..." Quinn's voice was low and it instantly had Rachel's attention, she looked up from her glass and saw something fiery in Quinn's eyes but the blonde quickly looked away. "I owe him the chance to try. I believe in the vows I made." Quinn's voice was dull now but Rachel's eyes didn't leave her face.

"You've not met someone since he left?"

Quinn picked up the bottle on the table and refilled her glass. "I met someone before him, I just didn't know it then."

Before Rachel could say another word, Quinn was busy clearing their plates. Rachel was ready to ask more questions but the second Quinn sat back down, the doorbell rang.

xoxo

"Is Rachel here?" Rachel heard a familiar voice from the door way and quickly got up from her seat. From the hall she could see Clem trying to peer round Quinn.

"Clem?"

"Ah Rachel! Your cell is off. I've been trying to call you all evening."

"You're in Lima?"

"I was in New York, but if you don't take your calls then what am I to do. It's all at your expense anyway."

Quinn grunted but her arm was still blocking Clem's entry into her house.

"Sorry, Quinn this is Clem, she's my assistant."

"Oh and a whole lot more, Ms Berry here would be nothing without me." Clem put one foot inside the door.

"I know that's not true." Quinn didn't clear a path.

"It's okay Quinn, she really is my backbone."

"Hard to believe." Quinn muttered, but stepped aside at Rachel's request.

Clem moved past her with a smirk that left Quinn wanting to push her back outside.

As Rachel embraced her assistant, Quinn watched on, they were clearly very close.

"I've been trying to reach you all day. Fuck Rachel. Phone?" she grabbed Rachel's purse and pulled out her cell. Turning it back on and holding it up as the messages came in.

"Whoa what is happening?" Rachel screeched and Quinn cringed.

"Only one Mr Matthew Johansen wants to see a certain Berry lady! It's big. He's written something and he's written it with you in mind."

"Oh god." Rachel clasped a hand to her chest, this really was big.

Quinn watched as the excitement lit up her face and it made her smile too, even if she knew what it meant. She'd just got to get to know Rachel and now it was coming to an end. That face said it all.

"This is it Rachel." Clem gripped Rachel by the arms.

"No," Rachel stopped, shaking her head in disbelief, her excitement replaced by a doubt.

"It's not a musical. It's a drama and it's edgy and it's something else. I've read the few pages he sent through. This is what you wanted, what you've been waiting for all these years."

"I'm not, no. Things are different now." Rachel's eyes moved to Quinn and Clem followed the look. Scowling as her eyes met Quinn's.

"You know Rachel is better than this?" Clem turned her attention to Quinn. "A high school glee club! Seriously!"

"Clem, please!" Rachel frowned. She was trying to listen to some of the voicemails, but now her focus was back on Quinn. She knew this was a big deal, Clem wouldn't be here otherwise and Quinn had just told her she was working on her marriage. She didn't need Rachel here at all, that was painfully obvious. A little too painful.

"I'll just go clear up." Quinn left them alone in her front room. She knew Rachel was about to go. Things had changed the second the doorbell rang.

She was just loading the dishwasher when she heard a cough behind her.

"You think she's better off here?" Clem was stood in the doorway. She'd left Rachel to take a call in the other room.

"I think Rachel was born to be a star."

"Good, so you won't get in the way of her leaving."  
"How would I do that?" Quinn scoffed.

"I need you to sign this. Its standard, just at the bottom there." Clem pushed a piece of paper in front of Quinn and pointed to the dotted line.

"What is this?" She picked it up but couldn't make sense of it.

"A non-disclosure agreement, I'm guessing Rachel hasn't thought to mention one before, she gets so sloppy when I'm not around."

"For what?"  
"It's not what Rachel needs right now. She can't have the general public knowing she's gay, that's just how it works and this is her big shot, the one she has talked about for years the one she's craved. We both know Rachel didn't leave Broadway because she was tired, she was just looking for something to fill her private life and it seems she may have found that."

"Excuse me." Quinn was shaking her head in disbelief.

"Rachel can fill any theatre, they love her. She's lying to herself and everyone here if she says different and most of all she loves it. She loves being on that stage. Whatever is going on with her right now, well, it's seems to involve you. So if you could sign this and then I can at least rest a little easy as I help get her career back together."

"Rachel's gay." Quinn's eyes widened and Clem quickly realised her mistake.  
"For her sake, please sign."

"I wouldn't do anything to hurt Rachel and I really don't need to sign that." Quinn pushed the paper back at Clem.

"What's going on?" Rachel had finished her call and walked into the kitchen to find Clem and Quinn staring at each other.

"Just talking." Clem stuffed the document in her purse. "Its time we got moving."

"We can talk tomorrow...I'm having dinner and staying over."

"It really can't wait." Clem pursued.

"It's okay Rachel." Quinn had found her glass of wine and was quickly emptying it's contents. "You two go. Talk, do what you need to do."

Rachel blushed with embarrassment. She was meant to be spending the evening with Quinn, but knew Clem wouldn't leave now.

"Thank you for tonight." Rachel picked up her purse and leaned in, kissing Quinn on the cheek. "It really was lovely."

"I'm glad you enjoyed it." Quinn blushed. Her head was spinning and all she knew in that moment was that Rachel was about to leave and chase a new dream. Once Quinn had pushed her to go but right now she wanted to stop her, but she had no words to say.

"I'll call you." Rachel smiled apologetically.

"Night."

"Nice to meet you Quinn." Clem paused at the door, but Quinn didn't return the compliment. She closed the door and fell back against it, but it didn't stop the room from spinning a round her.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6:**

"She's cute." Clem linked arms with Rachel as they walked back to her hire car. "So that's Quinn."

"That is." Rachel was still feeling bad about walking out like that.

"And she is why you're in Lima. Makes sense now."

"I'm in Lima because I needed a break. I didn't even know Quinn was here until I got here."

"Needed a break! Past tense, you're ready to come back."

"I didn't say that. I'm just..."

"It's Quinn." Clem finished for Rachel. "Its pretty obvious you like her."

"I've known her a long time. It's not that simple." Rachel was getting increasingly uncomfortable. She'd been enjoying Quinn's company, even if the conversation had been a bit stilted over dinner. Now Clem was here, she'd left Quinn behind and Broadway was back on her mind. "So this part?" She changed the subject back to work, she knew that was all Clem cared about anyway.

"It's a dream Rachel, it's more, it's the ticket. You have to do it."

"I'm not ready." Rachel stopped at the car door.

"You can't leave her?" Clem motioned back to the house where they'd left Quinn just moments before.

Rachel wasn't sure if that was it or not. "She's a friend."

"She's a very attractive friend."

"She is also very straight."

"You think so?" Clem laughed. "Just like you were until you stole Santana's girlfriend?"

"Shush." Rachel's eyes flashed in alarm although there was no one nearby to hear them. She sometimes hated that Clem knew so much about her, but it was better that way. She needed an assistant that she could count on and Clem had been exactly that over the years.

"Lacy was the prettiest girl I ever met, well apart from Quinn." Clem did her best Rachel impression, which wasn't very realistic but the words had been spoken in the past. Rachel had said them more than once.

She'd lived with Santana for a while in New York when she first got out of Lima. It had been an interesting experience, she could barely keep track of which girl Santana was dating. Then one morning Lacy was sat in their kitchen and that was the moment Rachel saw girls a whole lot differently.

Lacy smiled and Rachel couldn't stop grinning back at her. They shared a coffee and a week later the same happened. Santana would leave early for college and Rachel and Lacy would drink a coffee. Then Lacy was there more often when Santana was out at work. Weeks passed and Rachel still stared. One night Santana phoned to say she'd have to cancel their date and Lacy asked Rachel out for a drink instead.

When Lacy took her hand on the walk back to the apartment Rachel felt her heart explode. She went to say goodnight, but found herself leaning in for a kiss. Her skin tingled and her head rushed. She couldn't wait to see Lacy each day, but each time she was with Santana and her heart broke a little. She hated what she was doing behind her friends back, but couldn't resist when Lacy would kiss her and tell her not to worry. She lied to herself and they both lied to Santana.

Two months passed and Rachel wanted more. She wanted Lacy to herself. She got her wish the night Santana walked in and found them together.

Santana moved out and Rachel got Lacy, but it didn't last a month. Rachel had just landed her first role and she found that once they had freedom the thrill was gone. She promised herself never to get involved with someone in a relationship again. It caused too much heartache.

"Lacy is the past."

"And Quinn is the future?" Clem stopped and looked at Rachel searchingly. Not sure where her bosses head was at.

"Quinn is an old friend. A new friend. Nothing more and she's married."

Clem seemed satisfied with the answer and climbed into the car.

"Then lets talk over this script. Byron is hot on this. It took a lot for me to convince him it was better that I was the one that came here. He was ready to fly in."

"I couldn't have faced him."

Clem was right. The script, although rough, was what she'd dreamt of. She could cut her teeth on something serious, something that would define her and it was just the right time in her life. She didn't have to think at all, it just felt right.

They took the first flight on Saturday morning and she spent the week in New York, wrapped up in meetings. She got back to Lima late the following Sunday and found herself back at Quinn's door.

xoxo

Quinn had spent the whole week wondering if she'd even hear from Rachel again. The moment she'd closed her front door behind the departing Rachel and Clem she sucked in a deep breath. It was the end and she knew it. The end of what she wasn't even sure.

She still couldn't get her head around Rachel being gay. They'd spent plenty of time together, they'd talked about relationships, but for some reason Rachel had hid that from her, or perhaps she'd ignored the signs. She wasn't sure of anything anymore.

Clem had irritated her more than she liked, the woman had the measure of Rachel and was obviously an important part of her life. A life Quinn realised she knew very little about. She'd been looking at Rachel as if she was still in High school and ignoring the fact that fifteen years had shaped them both a lot since then.

Quinn couldn't get over the fact that Clem had walked into her home and in seconds took Rachel out of it. The next morning she pulled on her new trainers and got outside for a run. She found herself turning the corner towards Rachel's house, outside was an unfamiliar car, Clem stood by the door, a suitcase by her side. She was glad Clem was leaving, but then she saw Rachel rushing down the path, her suitcase dragging behind her. Quinn felt her stomach roll and quickly turned back out of the street. She didn't know why she ran away, she just knew she couldn't deal with anything right now.

xoxo

When Rachel wasn't in school on Monday, Quinn texted her, but nothing. She heard from Miss Hanson that Rachel was busy in New York. It stung a little that Quinn hadn't been told first hand, but of course Rachel would have contacted the school. Perhaps she'd got Clem to do it and Quinn doubted Clem would have bothered to contact her even if Rachel had asked her to.

Rachel had a life in New York, one that Quinn didn't belong to. The time they'd spent together had been fun and perhaps they could keep working on being friends. She felt at a loss though and when Greg called, she agreed to all he said. He moved back in that night and she was trying to be there for him, but really she was glad that he was around and she didn't feel so lonely. They'd eaten dinner together each night since and spent the weekend walking, talking and remembering the better times they'd had. He was almost enough to fill the void that Rachel had left behind.

Quinn sighed as she checked her phone again.

"You okay?" Greg looked up from the book he'd been reading. They'd somehow slipped back into their usual Sunday night routine. He was comfortable. Quinn was bored.

"Too many papers to mark." She pushed the pile she'd been working through off her lap. "I'm going to take a bath." Truthfully she knew she just wanted to be on her own. She'd enjoyed having her house to herself. With Greg back in situ it felt crowded.

"I love you Quinn."

Greg's words were filled with a hope she'd given him. "I love you too," she replied automatically.

She'd just dunked her head when she heard the door. Figuring it was her Mom she quickly began to dry herself off.

xoxo

Rachel was more flustered than she could fathom. She'd not replied to Quinn's text because she wanted to see her and to talk face to face. They were friends now she reminded herself as she made her way to her house. This was big news, a big opportunity.

She'd fooled herself into thinking she needed Quinn to take over the glee club, she didn't want to leave Lima and for all her efforts to go to waste. She knew already that Quinn would say yes if she asked her.

When she stopped kidding herself she knew that what she really wanted was to know what Quinn thought of the opportunity she was getting and how Quinn felt about her leaving. She entertained the idea that Quinn might ask her to stay, that she might find a reason for Rachel to be in Lima, but that thought didn't last long.

Rachel knocked the door for a second time. She could see the lights were on and Quinn's car parked in the drive. As the door opened she hurried her words.

"Quinn. I'm so sorry I didn't call, but..." she stopped when she finally looked up to see a strange man staring back at her confusedly. His eyes searching her face before a smile grew at his lips. She was instantly drawn to his deep blue eyes and thought he looked a little familiar. Her brain finally connecting the dots she realised he was the man in the photo. Quinn's husband.

"I know you," his grin grew.

"Is Quinn here?" Rachel felt her skin prickle, she'd not expected to see him at all.

"You're her! You are! I knew it." Rachel frowned. Greg was a little too pleased at recognising her. She'd met plenty of fans that acted this way and she always found it off putting. They'd think they knew her, but they just knew the roles she played. Reaching in her bag she pulled out a pen, ready to sign something, but he just smiled at her with a silly grin that she was beginning to find irritating.

"Quinn. I'm looking for Quinn Fabray… I mean Andrews."

"Rachel Berry!" he exclaimed, still ignoring her question. "Come in. Come in. I feel like I know you. Quinn has talked about you since the day I met her. Wow and you're here! At my house."

He called it his house and Rachel was thrown.

"Quinn?" she repeated. Her cold gaze catching Greg off guard.

The smile left his face as he became more self aware. "I'm sorry. Please," he grimaced. "I'll go get Quinn. Gosh I'm such a fool."

He seemed genuinely put out and she softened. "You must be Greg?" she turned on her charm and he smiled back at her warmly. He seemed nice. A little too eager, but maybe that is what Quinn liked about him and what she needed.

"It's nice to meet you at last. Let me grab Quinn, come in. Take a seat," the smile that lifted half his mouth lingered as he looked at Rachel one more time before heading back inside.

"Rachel?" Quinn appeared within seconds. Her hair wet and dripping down the fresh t-shirt she'd obviously just pulled over her head.

"I should have called." Rachel couldn't help but feel like she shouldn't be here, but seeing Quinn lifted her spirits. "I wanted to see you."

"Did he upset you?" Quinn took Rachel's arm and pulled her into the kitchen. "I'm sorry, Greg can be strange and he said he upset you or something."

"He…he was a little odd." Rachel smiled shyly. Her eyes meeting Quinn's and she found she couldn't hold her laughter in.

"I didn't know you were coming. I'd have..." Quinn stopped short, not knowing what she'd have done. Seeing Rachel had taken her by surprise. She opened the fridge before grabbing two glasses from the cupboard.

"He seems nice." Rachel sat down at the table and took the juice Quinn offered her. They'd not spoken all week and now it seemed as if both their worlds had changed exponentially. She hadn't expected to find Quinn's husband here. She didn't expect to see Quinn fresh from the bath, looking more beautiful then she remembered either. It hit Rachel then that she didn't want to just be friends. She wanted more and now it seemed so far beyond her grasp.

"How was New York?" Quinn had one eye on the doorway, obviously aware that Greg was loitering.

"I'm sorry I rushed out like that."

"It sounded important." Quinn dismissed her apology quickly.

"I should have, I um, it really was important. I had to go back to New York, so you see, well I got offered a part and I'm taking it." Rachel blurted out her news and found herself looking at Quinn as if she was expecting something in return.

"I'm happy for you Rachel, truly." Quinn squeezed Rachel's hand. "You deserve to be out there on that stage, not here in Lima, not here." Quinn's words were almost a whisper and Rachel strained to hear. "You don't belong here."

"You said before." Rachel said, her eyes focussed on the glass she was gripping a little too tightly. The words stung more this time. Quinn didn't want Rachel here, it was that simple. Greg was back, Rachel needed to be somewhere else. "I should go."

"I didn't mean you had to leave Please, stay, have something to eat, you must be hungry?" Quinn tried, but Rachel was already making her way out to the door.

"I'll see you at school."

"You're coming back?"  
"I have a club to run, they don't need me in New York just yet. Anyway, I've let those kids down this week and we've a lot to catch up on."

"Right." Quinn swallowed thickly. She couldn't stop Rachel now.

"It was nice to meet you, Greg." She called out to the man sat watching the game in the living room. She noticed his feet up on the table. This was his home, his and Quinn's. Rachel really didn't belong here.

xoxo

"It's regionals tomorrow!" Rachel announced as she stood in front of her group. They'd managed to scrape it through sectionals in the first few weeks of her tenure, but they were a lot better now. This was the big challenge but it didn't worry her, she'd found something in each of them and they'd all worked so hard to get this far.

She wanted them to make it so much, but she knew she'd be saying goodbye to them all within a month because she had to be back in New York.

Rehearsals were set to begin and she felt more than ready to get back on stage. The glee club had given her something, they'd reminded her what it was like to dream. She remembered the person she used to be and she liked that.

Rachel was left with a question mark over Quinn, one that she felt would never go away.

Quinn had stopped by the choir room twice since that night at her house and Rachel had been short with her, saying she was busy, but knowing really that she just couldn't face Quinn right now, her feelings were all mixed up and she was worried she'd say something she'd regret.

"We're going to win this." Jimmy jumped up and took hold of her hands. She could feel his energy and she got a flashback to how she used to feel when it was her in front of her friends, when they were making their journey together. For so long she'd followed the script, repeating her lines every day, somewhere along the way she'd forgotten to test herself and now she was remembering how amazing a new challenge could be. She looked around at her group of misfits.

"Thank you, all of you. You've helped me see that making a dream is as important as living one. You're all so important, so talented and you can really win this, I know you can."

"One last rehearsal." Mischa was on her feet and the music began to play. Rachel watched them with an overwhelming sense of pride, she could feel the tears well in her eyes as her smile filled her face.

When the song was over they split into their own little groups, talking about the plans for the competition and then as the bell rang they made their way to their classes.

Rachel didn't move. She stayed seated at the piano and wondered why she'd not learned to play properly.

"Hey." She looked up to see Quinn watching her from the doorway. The blonde looked a little forlorn as she rested her head against the wooden frame and waited for Rachel to respond.

"I thought we were going to be friends?" Rachel felt her voice crack, she'd tried to keep her distance, to work out what she was feeling but she'd missed Quinn.

"We are." Quinn stepped into the room, nodding her head. "I'm sorry I was hard on you coming back here. I just watched them all sing and wow, you're an amazing teacher Rach. They...well you've given them all some hope and a chance. I wish I'd seen you that way at High school."

"We're still at High school." Rachel shrugged.

"I shouldn't have been so cold the other night. I am happy for you. I want the best for you Rachel. Can you hate me for that?"

"I could never hate you."

Quinn smiled and took a seat on the stool next to Rachel. She began to play the music that had been left out. "Are you ready for tomorrow?"

Rachel shrugged, it was out of her hands now, she had to trust the glee club. "Will you come to watch us?"

"I'm..." Quinn couldn't. She'd made plans with Greg. Everything had been moving so fast that she'd forgotten it was competition time. She'd been so busy trying to fill her head with things other than Rachel and yet she couldn't stay away from the choir room. "I'll try and make it." She finally promised and she knew she would try and find a way.

"I missed you." Rachel put her hand on top of Quinn's stopping her from playing another note.

Quinn's eyes rested on where Rachel's hand lay on top of her skin. "I should go." She stood up quickly almost tripping as she made a hasty escape.

Quinn was outside the main doors to the school before she stopped. She quickly sucked in a deep breath and let it go slowly. The reason she'd been avoiding Rachel was becoming a little too clear to her now, but she knew it didn't matter. Rachel would soon be back in New York. That was how things were meant to be.

xoxo

"She ran off." Rachel sighed. Kurt rolled his eyes at her and for a moment she hated that she could see him on the screen.

"And tomorrow is about winning or about finding out why Quinn Fabray is still a major fascination of yours?"

"We win. Quinn is…oh shut up Kurt."

"Touchy!"

"Maybe I like her but, I can't like her."

"Oh I'm always right Rachel. Talk to her."  
"I can't." Rachel shook her head vehemently. "I have to concentrate on helping these kids win tomorrow."

"You'll be fine." Kurt reassured.

"I'll call you after."

"You'd better!"

Rachel signed off but despite trying to focus on last minute plans, she was still thinking about Quinn.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7:**

Rachel had rushed out of her family home that morning, her Dad's wishing her luck. She could feel her nerves tingling as she got closer to the school, but as she sat on the bus with the rest of the club she felt her disappointment outweigh her excitement.

She took one last look at the empty parking lot as they pulled away. Quinn was nowhere to be seen, she'd said she'd try, but Rachel got the impression she had something else to do and someone else to be with.

She focussed on her breathing exercises, they'd always helped before a performance, it didn't matter that she wasn't singing today, she needed to be their for her club.

The competition was theirs to take and she was back in control.

It all happened so fast, one minute she was prepping them to go on stage and the next she was watching from the wings, unable to help, but feeling as if she breathed every note.

She watched, she cheered and she even cried. They had all done their very best and now all they could do was wait.

A little bit of her had hoped Quinn would be there, somewhere in the audience, with some good excuse as to why she'd not made it on time, but Rachel knew she wasn't here, she'd see her in any crowd.

After talking to Kurt last night, she'd decided she needed to say something, to find out if Quinn was even slightly interested in her, she wanted to be subtle though because she didn't want to ruin their friendship. Time was running out, she'd soon be in New York and she knew that once she was back her time would be consumed with work.

"Come on Miss." Mischa hooked her arm in Rachel's and pulled her into the spot light. "This is for you," she added as the judges made their way into the centre.

Rachel could feel herself shaking. She wanted them to win so much. She didn't want to leave them after a loss. Then she saw something in the audience. A group of people moving and there she was. Quinn was on her feet, clapping and cheering.

Rachel was transfixed momentarily before she realised they'd won and her kids were jumping around her with a trophy in their hands. She lost sight of Quinn and when the lights dimmed she couldn't see her anywhere.

xoxo

Quinn had only just made it. She'd spent too long sat in her car wondering what she was doing and why she couldn't stay away from Rachel. She was meant to be giving it a go with Greg. She'd told herself that he had to be her focus not some girl she went to high school with. A girl she'd bullied and tormented before eventually almost consenting to be her friend.

She never understood why Rachel continually offered her friendship no matter how badly Quinn knew she'd behaved, but she was ever thankful for it. She wished she'd been a friend to Rachel then and she wished she could be one now. So with that in mind she stepped into the auditorium just in time to see Rachel's team take the prize. She was proud. She was more than that.

Her eyes locked onto Rachel and for a split second she thought Rachel had seen her, but then the group huddled around her and Rachel was swallowed up. She didn't stop watching. She waited, she wanted Rachel to know she'd made it but then she saw someone she'd long forgotten. Jesse St James took to the stage, a smile on his face. His arms open. Rachel had been searching the audience, but then she saw him and Quinn watched as she screamed and ran into his open arms. Quinn still watched, her knees bent and she was sitting down again. She didn't move. Rachel left the stage, Jesse's arm draped across her shoulders. It had been a long time since they'd graduated, but in that instant it felt like yesterday. The lights dimmed and she made her swift exit.

xoxo

Rachel fell back onto the couch, she'd looked for Quinn everywhere but nothing. Jesse had moaned as they checked the parking lot for a third time and finally she'd given in and collapsed. "What a day!" she exhaled and Jesse handed her another glass of champagne. She shook her head but took the glass, she'd had too much already, but they were celebrating.

"You are one amazing woman. We should hook up," he sat next to her, letting his hand rest on her thigh. She looked at it for a moment before removing it.

"I am amazing, but no. We really shouldn't."

"Rachel," Jesse closed the space between them, his face full of hurt, but she knew it was part of his talent for acting and of course lying.

"We've been there and things change..."  
"They do!" his grin almost reached his ears. "I like them with a little more, you know."

"I do." Rachel took another sip, her eyes looking towards the group from McKinley as they celebrated freely. "I'm glad you found your happiness."

"And you?"

"Look at them," she ignored his question, gesticulating towards the happy group that were living a dream she once had. "This matters."

"I heard a rumour, actually, I've heard too many rumours." he eyed her knowingly. "First you're a drunk or is it drugs, either is more interesting than the 'taking a break' blurb. Then some guy is in for you. Broadway is buzzing again. You could be back and if you are you're going to kill it...but?"

"But?"

"I find you here, with McKinley High Glee club! Rachel, the same thing, the same low goal. You belong to New York."  
Rachel swallowed thickly, she was tired of hearing this now. "I don't belong to any one or any place. _You_ should know that." Rachel stood up, ready to make an exit, but for a moment she paused and looked back at him. New York was a place that lit a fire in her belly that just never would go away no matter what line she walked. They all said she belong there and they were all right and she knew it.

Jesse smiled at her and she smiled back and for once it hit her eyes.

"I'm glad you asked me along today, Its good to see you," he added.

"It's been too long, when do you start filming?"

"Not until the summer, I'm bored already, but at least I can visit old friends."

"Are you coming back to Lima?"  
"No chance." He laughed. "I've got a hot date with Anton later," he waved to the guy that had been watching them from across the room.

"Love you." She kissed his cheek and got up, the bus was about to go and she needed to make sure they all got on it. She'd seen Jimmy and Mischa sneak off earlier and went off to find them.

xoxo

Once they'd got back to Lima she quickly excused herself from the others and headed to the bar Quinn had taken her. Glad to see no familiar faces as she entered, she ordered a drink and found the seat next to her instantly occupied.

"No Jesse?" Quinn looked past her before finally locking eyes with Rachel.

"So you were there?" Rachel waved to the bar tender and a second drink appeared. "I thought I saw you."

For a second Quinn's face lit up. "You did it." She beamed. "It's…you won!"

"So where did you go?" Rachel couldn't hide the cold from her voice. She felt angry that Quinn had just disappeared when she'd wanted to share winning with her.

"I saw Jesse."

"Yes, you did. He came to congratulate me."

"I did too."

"So you say."

"Seriously Rachel! I drove up there. I was late. I was there. Fuck. I know I was a bitch at high school, but him! He was all over you." Quinn was pissed.

"He's gone now. No need to get jealous." Rachel left the words hanging between them, watching as Quinn drained her drink and then ordered another.

They sat in silence for a moment, Quinn emptying her second glass and moving on to her third before she spoke.

"Are you going back to New York?" Quinn looked back at Rachel.

"Maybe." Rachel chewed on her bottom lip. She knew she was going.

"Is it good? The right thing?"

Rachel looked up and saw the hope in Quinn's eyes, maybe she did only want the best for Rachel. "It's something. It could be amazing. Clem is crazy for the script."

"Clem is…something else."

"She is isn't she. Not everyone takes to her, but she's a friend. Keeps me from making all the mistakes I think I want to make." Rachel paused as she took another drink.

"Some mistakes are worth making."

Rachel's eyes darted to Quinn, but Quinn was looking at the bar.

"Let's get a bottle." Rachel ordered before Quinn could protest. Spying an empty table she lead Quinn to it.

"When would you leave?"

"Soon, they'll need me back for rehearsals. Why, you going to miss me?"

"Yeah."

"Oh." Rachel was taken by surprise at Quinn's honesty. "I'd miss you too."

Rachel took Quinn's hand and squeezed it lightly, but she didn't let go. The way Quinn looked up at her over her glass left her breathless.

"You're proud of the win." Quinn broke their stare and pulled her hand free.

"I think they were something else, amazing. What more can I ask of them?"  
"A nationals win." Quinn joked, but Rachel nodded.

"Yeah, that would be it. I want that. I wanted it for me at first, but now I know I want it for them. They've worked so hard. It reminds me of what we all did. You remember that first trip to New York?"

"I'll never forget it."

"I do love it there. You'll come visit when I go back?"

"When..." Quinn paused at the admission Rachel would be leaving. "I will."

Rachel topped up their glasses and began talking away about plans for Nationals, even though they both knew she wouldn't be at McKinley then, she didn't want to talk about leaving right now. Being with Quinn was as absorbing as ever and she wanted to think about the now and not the fact they'd be apart.

"Can I get you a drink?" A man sat down in the spare seat at the table, uninvited.

"We're good thanks." Quinn waved her full glass in his direction dismissively.

"Tequila!" he continued, motioning to the guy behind the bar.

"No thanks." Rachel put up her hand to stop the order.

"Just a drink girls," he slurred. "What? You a pair of fucking dykes?" he stood up and leered at them over the table.

"Just too good for you." Quinn stood up and stared him down. He was no match for Quinn and quickly began to back away.

"Whatever, plenty chicks round here," he mumbled as he staggered back towards the bar.

Rachel was giggling in her seat. "You're still a cold..."

"Bitch?" Quinn raised her eyebrow as she sat back down.

"I wouldn't say that."

"You almost did." Quinn clinked their glasses together.

Rachel's eyes strayed to the guy that had moved back towards his place at the bar. "Maybe we should give him a show." Rachel felt far too bold as she leant closer, her lips a breath from Quinn's, her heart racing so fast she thought it would burst out of her chest, yet she couldn't stop herself, she wanted this.

"I don't do shows." Quinn closed her eyes but didn't pull away.

"Neither do I." Rachel closed her eyes and leant in the final centimetre, but then she felt Quinn's finger on her mouth, stopping her.

"Don't. Not unless you know what you're doing." Quinn's words were succinct but her hot breath kissed Rachel's skin and Rachel couldn't answer, she was intoxicated.

Maybe she'd drunk too much champagne and then followed it with too much wine, but she knew what she was doing and how much she wanted it.

Then it hit her that this isn't how she wanted to do this. She was drunk, she didn't want to mess this up. She was meant to be being subtle, trying to work out if there was any kind of chance with Quinn without risking their friendship, it mattered too much.

She closed her eyes and was about to explain, but Quinn was already settling the bar bill.

"Quinn!" Rachel called out as they hit the sidewalk. Quinn was already halfway towards her parked car. "You can't drive." She rushed towards her and stopped her opening the car door.

"I left my cell." Quinn retrieved her phone from the car. Locking the door, she fell back against it and looked at Rachel. The cool night air was sobering her up quickly. Rachel was watching her with interest.

"You want to come back with me?"

"I..." Quinn didn't get time to form an answer. Her phone rang and Greg was filling her ear with a hundred questions. "He's coming to get me. He'll drive you home if you want?" she said as she hung up.

"Sure," Rachel agreed but she regretted it the second Greg showed up. His arms quickly wrapped around Quinn's waist, claiming her in a way Rachel didn't like.

"I'll call you." Quinn offered as Rachel got out the car. Rachel just smiled, she had nothing left to say that night, nothing she could say with Greg there anyway.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8:**

"Quinn. Quinn. Quinn." Kurt giggled and Rachel watched him on the screen, her face set to stone.

"I thought I could talk to you," she huffed.

"You can," he at least pretended to look apologetic. "So…you like Quinn." he tried to hide his amusement this time. "For real _like_ her. Because she's Quinn and you've always...well..."

"She's still with this husband."

"A husband is a bit of a problem, but you know I think she's always secretly had a thing for you. It's this feeling I have. What did she say again?"

"Not unless you mean it." Rachel repeated the words that had played in her head all night.

"Oh, yes, she so wants you. She wants you to mean it and to kiss her. You want to kiss her?"

"I..." Rachel blushed and felt relieved that he probably couldn't see that through his computer screen. "She's the prettiest girl..."

"You ever met! yes yes we all know that. We also know that you aren't averse to being with a woman, but it's Quinn! Is _she_ what you want?"

"She is something else. Not that girl we knew in High school."

"But you had a thing for High school Quinn, admit it!" he joked and she grinned.

"I don't know though. We're just making way as friends. I don't think I should mess with that or with someone that's married."

"You two were never friends, never meant to be. You're too fiery."

"Passionate." Rachel whispered. She'd been developing feelings for Quinn, but perhaps they'd always been burning underneath and none of this was coming as news to her. If she was truly honest she'd felt perhaps she'd been suppressing her feelings for so long that it really was a surprise to see them surface now. That first morning she'd seen Quinn something familiar had hit her in the stomach, but she pushed the feeling aside, yet it came back whenever she was with Quinn. Like butterflies whirling in her tummy, she got nervous, excited, and she liked it.

"Talk to her." Kurt interrupted her thoughts.

"I can't." Rachel shook her head, it was getting too confusing. Quinn hadn't given her any signals that she could be certain of until last night.

"Then kiss her."

"I can't do that either."

"What if this thing takes off? What then? You go back to work and we both know you'll find it hard to get out of New York then. You'll be left wondering what if."

"I'll see her at school before I leave and I'm sure once we're both sober it'll be different."  
"Sure, tell yourself it's nothing, but you know deep down, you do and you can do this Rach. Sorry, I've got to get back. Karen is waving at me from the door, I'm due on set. Love you!"

"Love you too."

"Kiss her!" Kurt screamed as he disconnected their call. Rachel laughed as she closed her laptop. She found her Dad in the kitchen reading the newspaper. She'd breezed in and out of their house these last few days, but it all seemed as comfortable as when she'd lived here all those years before. She enjoyed being in a home. In New York she had an apartment to herself and it was beautiful but often lonely.

"Everything okay?" he peered over the top of his glasses.

"I think so." She nodded, but she had a lot on her mind and it showed.

"How's Quinn?"

"Good."

"And this new script?"

"Good."

"Well, that's good then," he returned to his newspaper and Rachel watched him for a heartbeat. She'd not been here when he was sick, but Quinn had. All things seemed to come back to Quinn. Maybe Kurt was right and she should just kiss her, let it happen and see.

She didn't want to get involved with someone that was married, but it felt so right and she knew Quinn was fooling herself over Greg. She'd admitted they were over and Rachel knew he didn't make her happy. Quinn was hiding in a safe little world and now Rachel was left wondering if the reason Quinn was hiding was because she felt something too.

"Everything is good," she smiled to herself and she actually thought it might be for the first time in a long time. She could save Quinn from making the wrong choice, Greg was not the one. He might be her best friend, but she shouldn't be giving up her own happiness just for his.

xoxo

"Quinn!" Rachel found herself rushing towards her car the second she saw it pull into the parking lot.

"Hi Rachel," Quinn took her time getting out of the passenger seat. Rachel hadn't even realised she wasn't alone.

"Hi," Greg walked around the car and handed Quinn her coffee. "Good to see you again, Rachel. Seems you keep appearing everywhere we go," he joked and sipped his drink. "Has Quinn told you the good news?" he continued before Rachel could think, she just watched as his arm snaked around Quinn's waist.

"Good news?"

"We're renewing our vows." Greg pulled Quinn closer and placed a kiss to her forehead. Quinn's eyes didn't leave Rachel's and they showed her internal struggle, but in that moment Rachel was dealing with her own.

"Oh wow, that's um, well, wow." Rachel stumbled over her words. "Congratulations," she finally managed to say cheerily.

"Thanks." Quinn mumbled.

"It'd be important to Quinn if you were there too? It'll be in a few weeks. Something intimate. We're really positive about this Rachel and its good that you can share it with us. We deserve it don't we baby? A new chance." His eagerness was too much for Rachel.

"Absolutely," Quinn nodded her agreement but her eyes were dull and Rachel didn't miss that Quinn wasn't enthusiastic at all.

"So you'll be there Rachel?"

"Absolutely," Rachel smiled. She smiled a little too much. Her eyes flitting from Quinn to Greg and back to Quinn.

"Well, I'll, um, see you in school." Quinn at least managed to look embarrassed at how eager she was for Rachel to go.

"You will." Rachel took her cue to leave and had to resist the urge to run, every step she took seemed so painstakingly slow she wondered if she'd ever get into the school. She looked back as she got to the main doors. She could see Quinn talking heatedly with Greg. Greg looked back at her and waved and she quickly went inside. This was not what she'd thought would happen this morning.

xoxo

Ten minutes after Rachel had got to the choir room, Quinn arrived. She didn't make a sound, but Rachel turned to look at her instantly. "Renewing vows? I thought…"

"I owe him a chance." Quinn replied, she'd got home last night, confused about what was happening with Rachel and when Greg talked she nodded. It was easy to agree, she felt so guilty. She'd felt jealous when she saw Jesse holding Rachel. It had changed how she saw things between them, but it wasn't something she could accept easily.

"You owe him? Wow." Rachel paced across the room. Not sure why she was feeling so bold, but knowing she had little chance to speak so freely as the one she had right now. "You said it was over, that's what you told me."

"It's never that simple. Surely you know that Rach."

"Surely I know…we…he…Quinn, he's not what you want. If he was then it would've worked. You wouldn't owe him a chance that he doesn't deserve. Its over. You said it yourself more than once." She wanted to scream that they'd come close to kissing last night, to ask what Quinn meant when she said not unless you mean it, but Quinn was building walls quicker than Rachel could think.

"He's my husband. That matters in my world and in front of god."

Rachel turned her eyes to the ceiling, she couldn't believe what she was hearing. "And he's what you want?" Rachel stopped pacing, stepping closer to Quinn.

"Yes," Quinn's eyes were fixed to a spot on the floor.

"I hope he makes you happy then." Rachel turned away and grabbed the folder she'd left on the piano. She had a script to learn and she had to make plans so that her glee club still had a chance at nationals without her. "I'm going to New York tomorrow."

"You are?" Quinn was stunned, she'd not expected Rachel to leave just yet.

"I don't belong here." Rachel shrugged. "I have things to work for." She'd not planned on going so soon, but she knew she couldn't be in Lima a minute longer.

"I'm happy for you." Quinn attempted a smile, but failed.

"I…" Rachel paused, she couldn't let it go. "Is it fair on Greg?"  
"What?"

"He could meet someone that loves him too, you know that though. You talk about how he's a great guy, but you could let him…you could be brave and follow your heart." Rachel stopped at the doorway waiting for Quinn to say something, to realise what Rachel meant.  
"I do love him." Quinn was quiet but her words cut into Rachel's heart. She didn't believe them, but she knew that Quinn did, or at least she was trying to.

"I think you're hiding." Rachel let out a breath, she was shaking and finding it hard to keep herself together. "This world you've built in Lima is small and its safe, but it's not for you. You're just hiding here and I think you know that."

"I'm not hiding." Quinn was still almost inaudible.

Rachel shook her head, but she couldn't say anymore. The tears were threatening to spill and she was hurting. All she wanted to do was run away. She couldn't fight when she knew Quinn wasn't hers to fight for. Accepting defeat, she walked back in the room and briefly hugged Quinn before grabbing her bag and leaving McKinley, not knowing if she'd ever return.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9:**

A month passed and Rachel hadn't stopped thinking about that last morning in the choir room. She hadn't planned on leaving like that. She'd half expected Quinn to show up at her Dads that night, but she didn't.

In her time back in New York she'd been to numerous meetings and some fittings, but nothing was happening quickly enough or that's how it seemed. Her mind kept drifting back to McKinley and to Quinn.

Rachel hadn't ever asked Quinn to take over Glee, she didn't feel able to ask for anything when she left. She made a call and Jesse had come, with a lot of persuading, to help steer the club towards winning Nationals. She tried to speak to him daily and although she knew what was going on and that they were all capable she couldn't rid herself of the feeling she'd abandoned them just as she'd given them hope.

Jesse told her that Quinn was checking up on him and he'd assumed it was at Rachel's request but it couldn't be, they'd not spoken. Quinn hadn't called and Rachel hadn't tried. She didn't want Greg answering the phone, she couldn't take that. Rachel rolled over in bed, burying her face in her pillow, just as she heard the front door slam shut.

"Good morning," Clem called loudly from outside her bedroom door, pushing it open before making a little too much noise in the kitchen. Rachel had barely put her foot on the floor and Clem was busy making her bed. "You've got a busy day."

"Aren't they all," Rachel sighed. Clem ignored her, just pushing her towards the shower.

Breakfast was made and an outfit chosen before Rachel even realised she was truly awake. Clem had her dressed and ready to take on whatever meeting they had planned that day, there always seemed to be meetings.

Rachel tried to eat a slice of toast with a modicum of enthusiasm but she could tell Clem had something to say. Finally she put her hand in her pocket and placed an envelope on the table in front of her.

"A job?" Rachel didn't need another job right now.

"Something a little more personal," Clem replied and for a second Rachel felt her heart stop, Clem couldn't quit, she couldn't do this without her. She'd come back to New York and was trying to make it work. She believed in what she was doing, but she missed Quinn and she ached for what she couldn't have. Clem had done her best to keep her occupied. She got her out of bed on the toughest of days and never asked too many questions. Rachel didn't want to talk about it and Clem left her be. Losing Clem now was a blow she couldn't take.

Warily she picked the corner of the envelope, looking back at Clem, but Clem's face was set to stone and giving away no clue. She knew she had to open it.

Finally she pulled out a card from inside.

_The class of McKinley would like to invite Ms Rachel Berry to watch our performance at Nationals this coming weekend._

Rachel put her hand to her heart, the relief washing over her. "They want me there."

"But of course!" Clem beamed. "You're cleared to fly Ms Berry. If you want to that is?"

"I…" Rachel read the card over. Of course she wanted to be there. She had to be there. These were her kids, the ones she'd given a chance to dream. "I can't wait."

xoxo

Rachel rushed through the doors, no matter how much time she thought she'd have it was never enough. She was desperate to see the McKinley glee club perform and anxious about seeing Quinn. She knew she'd be there, Jesse had told her the night before. She told him not to let anyone know she could make it. She wanted to surprise them all.

As she raced towards the auditorium she saw Quinn stood by a side door. She stopped running and walked slowly towards her. Her nerves were making her stomach do somersaults, but she found herself smiling, something she always seemed to do when she saw Quinn.

"You're here." Quinn folded her arms across her chest as she eyed Rachel curiously.

"They asked me to come." Rachel warily stepped a little closer.

"We weren't sure you'd make it, no one heard back, so…" Quinn paused and looked Rachel up and down before meeting her eyes. "Its good to see you." Quinn finally dropped her guard, her eyes shining as she looked at Rachel.

"I wasn't sure you'd be here." Rachel lied, she had so many emotions whirling through her and it didn't help when Quinn looked at her like that. She found she could only focus on one thing. "I thought maybe you'd be renewing your vows or away on a second honeymoon." Rachel hadn't meant to sound so bitter, but seeing Quinn looking as amazing as ever, had only made her ache for what she knew she couldn't have.

"Nothing's happened and no honeymoon, there's a lot going on. I wanted to be here, I knew how much this club meant to you."

"It still does." Rachel was hurt by the insinuation that she no longer cared, but she also felt bad for being hard on Quinn. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pry, really."

"Everyone is going to be pleased to see you, they're doing well. Worked hard." Quinn spoke so warmly and it reassured Rachel that her leaving hadn't been too hard on them.

"I hear you've been helping."

"A little, Jesse isn't exactly accommodating to my suggestions, but some of his ideas were…well…"

"He tried to change the entire set list didn't he?"

"The whole thing!" Quinn laughed. "We had a few heated discussions along the way." Rachel couldn't help but laugh along with her, she knew that Jesse was difficult, but she also knew Quinn was more than a match for him.

"I shouldn't have left."

"I wish you hadn't." Quinn's voice cracked involuntarily as she spoke the truth. She offered Rachel a soft smile, it had felt like forever since she'd seen her face or heard that laugh and now she realised just how much she'd missed her.

She'd spent the last month talking with Greg, agreeing to his plans, then finding excuses to push things back a little more. She had finals, she had glee club now and she had the last words Rachel had said to her ringing in her ears.

xoxo

Quinn didn't get the chance to deal with Rachel walking out because the next thing she knew Jesse had stormed in like a hurricane and almost destroyed the club. Quinn had been the one that persuaded Jimmy and Mischa to come back and to fight him. Together they'd stood firm. Rachel hadn't called her, so she felt no need to let her know how bad things were, but she wasn't going to let something Rachel had worked hard for be ruined by Jesse St James.

Quinn still hated him for the egg incident. She never understood how Rachel saw him as a friend after what he'd done, but then Rachel was always good at giving people second chances. She'd given Quinn plenty and always tried to be a good friend to her, even when she least deserved it.

"Hey, you two better get a seat quick." Jesse grabbed them on his way past. "The show is about to begin. You're going to love my changes." He beamed and the look he gave Quinn made her want to punch him in the face.

"Rachel made this club, they win and its down to her hard work." Quinn narrowed her eyes, she really didn't like him at all.

"Have you met the president of the Rachel Berry fan club?" Jesse mocked, taking his seat.

Quinn was seething, the rage was rising and she was about to snap when Rachel squeezed her arm.

"Ignore him." Rachel whispered.

Quinn softened and sunk down into her seat. The music played and the judges were introduced on stage. The next few hours were a blur. Rachel was a bundle of nerves, fidgeting constantly in the seat next to her. One minute on her feet, the next grabbing hold of Quinn's arm as Mischa ran her solo to perfection. She turned to see Rachel with a tear rolling down her face and for second she felt like she couldn't breathe.

The last month had been more than hard. She'd missed Rachel more than she imagined possible.

xoxo

"They lost." Rachel gasped. Quinn looked from the stage to Rachel.

"If I'd been called in sooner, perhaps I could have done better." Jesse rolled his eyes, he wasn't taking any responsibility for their failings.

"If you'd not messed around with everything, maybe then they'd have felt more confident." Quinn spat.

"If I'd stayed." Rachel whispered.

"It's not on you Rachel." Quinn tried, she could tell Rachel felt responsible, but it wasn't anyones fault.

"It is." Rachel was making her way to the stage. Quinn sat back and watched as she consoled the glee club. They both knew how it felt to lose, they'd tried themselves and lost, but Rachel had kept them all believing and Quinn knew she'd do the same for the club that looked up to her now.

"She'll be back in New York in the morning and I bet she doesn't look back once." Jesse purred. "I hear this new show is going to be the 'big' hit this fall. Rachel will be an even bigger star than me."

"Rachel's in it, so of course it will be." Quinn felt an ache in her chest. Rachel would be leaving again. It was how things had to be.

"And I'm sure you'll wish her well." Jesse looked at her knowingly, before picking up his jacket. "All the best Quinn, I hope you realise I was just trying to help," he shrugged, not needing her to believe him.

"You're leaving?"

"I've got a career to be getting on with. Turns out Lima can suck you in and destroy you after all. These last few weeks have proven it to me. No star can survive here."

"No." she nodded and watched as he said a brief farewell to the club he'd been mentoring.

xoxo

"I'm sorry Rachel." Quinn had lost sight of Rachel on the stage, but finally found her alone in the green room. She was sitting on a chair in the middle of the room, staring at the wall.

"They keep saying they didn't lose. They came second. They seem happy, but if we won, then so can they," Rachel shifted in her chair, looking up at Quinn.

"I'm sure they will. If we can keep the funding together, maybe we can find a new teacher next year. I don't think Jesse wants to commit to something like a glee club, but I can help some."

"More than three weeks anywhere and he gets itchy." Rachel giggled. She knew him too well. "We don't need a new teacher though. I'm going to do this Quinn, no more distractions. I won't walk out on them again." She was suffering from pre-show nerves and looking for an excuse to run. Hiding back in Lima and staying at McKinley seemed a comforting option right now and seeing Quinn again had made her never want to leave. It had been hard being away and not even speaking to her.

"You will." Quinn sat down on the chair opposite Rachel and looked at her sternly.

Rachel looked up in surprise at what Quinn had said and then anger gripped her. "I will not," she countered.

"You are about to be in the hit show of the season, or so Jesse tells me, and you know as well as I do that something else will always come along. There will always be a script, a director, a chance. You don't belong here Rachel. Jesse is right, a star can't burn bright in Lima. It will fade, it can only fade." Quinn's words made her ache inside. She knew what she was saying, that Rachel couldn't give up her life to be in Lima and she knew that meant that Rachel had to leave.

"Oh now we listen to Jesse?" Rachel stood up and paced the room. "What if this _is_ what I want?"

"It's not though."

"How would you know!" Rachel turned to storm out of the room, before turning back to look at Quinn. "You don't know what you want, so you have no right to tell me what is best for me."

"You're messing with these kids." Quinn was firm, her voice level.

"What?" Rachel couldn't believe what she was hearing. She'd done her best by that club, she'd tried, there wouldn't even be a glee club without her.

"Coming in and out of their lives like this. It's not fair. They're not able to deal with it. You can't…" Quinn knew it wasn't the kids that couldn't handle it, it was her. She didn't want Rachel to go anywhere, but she couldn't see her staying. Lima wasn't enough for Rachel.

"I'm not playing games Quinn. I want this for me, I want it for them. Is it too much to have me around?"

"No, it's, I." Quinn shook her head in frustration, her composure gone. She couldn't think. The room felt like it was spinning. Rachel was staring at her. She hated seeing Rachel angry. She'd caused it. "It's a waste of your talent. High school isn't for you."

"You don't want me here?" Rachel stepped towards her. "Can you not stand to have me around or something?"

"It's not that."

"You keep telling me to leave."

Quinn's eyes snapped from the floor to meet Rachel's. "I told you I missed you."

"But you'd prefer it if I left and didn't come back. I really thought we'd become friends? Well, don't worry I can stay out of your way. So please stop thinking you need to push me away. It hurts more than you realise."

Rachel backed away again, but before she could reach the door Quinn had caught her up, she grabbed her wrist and stopped her leaving.

"Rachel."

"What?" Rachel span around to look at her, the tears she'd been fighting back were stinging at her eyes.

Quinn couldn't miss them. They stung her heart. She closed her eyes for a split second.

"I don't want you to go." She finally spoke the words she had been fighting with herself not to say. She opened her eyes and felt her heart melt. Before she could think she was leaning towards Rachel. Rachel's eyes flickered in confusion before they registered what Quinn was doing.

Quinn paused, her eyes searching Rachel's one last time as she gave in and pressed their lips together, but then Rachel's hands were on her shoulders and pushing her back gently.

"Do you really want this?" Rachel asked, her voice shaky.

"I...I should go." Quinn felt fear wrack her body. She didn't know what she was doing, but she wasn't walking anywhere.

"People really need to stop leaving." Rachel cupped Quinn's face in her hands. "If you leave, I'll never get the chance to do this," and then Rachel was kissing Quinn. Tentatively at first, but then her need won out and she kissed a little firmer. "Don't run away from me," she whispered before kissing her again.

Quinn felt her body ignite with each second that passed and every move of Rachel's tongue against her own left her powerless to resist her desires anymore. She couldn't hold back any more, reaching out she pulled Rachel's body in closer, but it could never be close enough.

Breathless, she had no choice but to break the kiss, she rested her head on Rachel's for a moment. "I couldn't run. I can barely stand," she breathed before hurriedly returning her lips to Rachel's. Her body melting against Rachel's gentle touch and she couldn't move, she couldn't run, all she could do was feel and it felt amazing.

Rachel was making noises that left Quinn aching deep inside. She never wanted to stop kissing her, but then Rachel's lips were on her jawbone and moving down her neck. Quinn felt her knees give and suddenly she was staggering back, her connection to Rachel was broken and she could instantly feel the space between them. She wanted to get back to that warmth she craved.

She looked in Rachel's eyes and saw a hundred questions in them and it frightened her that she might hold some of the answers.

Quinn took a deep breath, before placing her hand softly against Rachel's cheek.

"Rachel, I…I don't know what's been going on with us and it's been driving me crazy, but…"

"I want this." Rachel nodded fervently as if she thought she was answering the questions Quinn couldn't ask. It was enough for Quinn. She wanted it too.

Rachel pulled her back into her body, the warmth was still there and the fire Quinn could feel burning within began to flame.

"I want you," she whispered, but she didn't know if Rachel heard, because all she heard was a soft moan and her lips were being kissed needfully and she understood that need and kissed back as hard as she could.

Her hands pulling at Rachel's top, her skirt, touching her skin. Nothing stopped her yearning. Each touch left her wanting more, craving more.

Then her cell phone rang and she instinctively paused. In that second, a million thoughts ran through her head.

"Don't" Rachel breathed into her neck and Quinn felt like she would fall to the floor.

She ignored the call, but a moment later it rang again and seconds later she could hear voices coming towards the green room, as the door pushed open she hastily pulled away from Rachel.

"She's probably in here." Mischa entered the room, she didn't notice the flush on both women's cheeks in that moment and she didn't notice how white Quinn turned a second later when Greg walked in behind her.

"I've been calling you." Greg didn't notice how quickly Quinn moved away from Rachel, but Rachel did.

"Sorry, we were talking." Quinn offered feebly as she straightened her clothes.

"I heard it's bad news." Greg looked solemnly at Rachel. "I'm sorry, I know from what Quinn says that this meant a lot to you. She's been working so hard trying to help, it's been hard on her since you left town," he patted Rachel on the arm before turning back to Quinn. "But now I've got some good news, great news even. Father Wallace can fit us in next week. Late cancellation and well it's all go. Your Mom is on her way over to ours, all set for hair and makeup plans, so if you're all done here…" he looked around the room and noticed that all the kids had already packed up their things. "Then we need to make a move."

"I…right, sure." Quinn began to follow him out the door.

Rachel coughed and Quinn looked back at her. "I'm sorry. We can talk later." She didn't know what else she could say in that moment and she hated the look it left on Rachel's face.

xoxo

Quinn followed Greg out into the parking lot, her body shaking, she felt like she was going to be sick. "I forgot my cell!" she turned and ran back to where she'd left Rachel, only to find her still stood in the exact same spot.

"What was that?" Rachel asked confusedly.

"I'm sorry. We can talk later?" Quinn knew she was just trying to buy time to work out what to say and what she was feeling.

"After you see some priest about your marriage? Seriously, we just kissed!" Rachel was struggling to hold it together.

"I know. It was…Rachel…" Quinn moved closer but Rachel took a step back. "I can't. He's such a good man and he doesn't deserve this. He really wants our marriage to work."

"What about what you want?" Rachel pressed.

"I don't know, I can't answer that." Quinn bit on her bottom lip nervously.

"I want you." Rachel stepped closer, she knew this was when Quinn had to choose or she had to leave.

"I can't." Quinn shook her head. Tears threatened to escape, but she couldn't cry, she had no right. Rachel was just staring at her and she had no idea what to do. Quinn dropped her head, she hated herself for making Rachel look like that. It was all too complicated and she wasn't ready for this, she didn't know what she was doing at all.

"I'll think of you always." Rachel pulled Quinn into her arms and held her tight, before letting her go and turning her back.

"I will too, every day." Quinn tried to swallow the lump in her throat, as she felt the tears finally fall down her cheeks. She quickly wiped them away. "I'd better go."  
"Sure," Rachel said cooly, but didn't turn back around.

Quinn wanted to pull her back, kiss her again, but she didn't, she couldn't. She knew Greg would come back looking for her if she didn't hurry up, so she found herself running back out to his car.

xoxo

A/N: Chapter 10 will be posted later today.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10:**

Rachel got back to her Dad's and grabbed a bottle of wine from the rack.

"They didn't win?" Leroy put his arm around her shoulders and she found herself falling against his chest, Tears streaming from her eyes. "Rach, baby, it's just a competition," he tried to calm her, but it was a good five minutes before she could stop.

"It's Quinn."

"What has she done now?" Hiram's voice rang in from the kitchen. "What is it with that girl?" he walked in to see Rachel broken and Leroy shaking his head at him, warning him to stop.

"I kissed her. She kissed me."

"And that's a bad thing?" Leroy pressed.

"No, it was good, really amaz…but then Greg. She left with him."

"Oh," Leroy sighed.

"Hmm," Hiram grumbled. "She's playing games. Best you walk away now."

"Dad!" Rachel protested feebly, but she knew he was right.

"She'll only break your heart. It looks like she's already had a good try at it."

"She likes her." Leroy cut in. "Quinn is just confused. In time she'll work it out, I'm sure baby." He squeezed Rachel a little tighter. "She wouldn't have kissed you otherwise and she wouldn't have hung out with us ever. She likes you. I know she does." He winked and Rachel felt a glimmer of hope return to her heart.

"Rachel doesn't need this in her life right now, she has other things, she has a real shot at being a Broadway legend. We all know it and yet she's spending her time flying in and out of Lima at a moments notice for Quinn Fabray." Hiram wasn't quite as understanding as his husband, he never had been. He saw things as they were and he didn't like his daughter being hurt.

"I've been back once in the last month." Rachel protested.

"Still, we all know it's true." Hiram added.

"Fine. She wants me to go, you want me to go. I'm gone." Rachel stomped her foot dramatically, but remained in Leroy's warm grip.

"I don't want you to go." Hiram softened. "But I don't want you to wait around for Quinn either. She wants you? Well, she'll come find you."

"I kinda agree." Leroy squeezed Rachel a little tighter and Rachel nodded. She couldn't hang around waiting for Quinn to figure out who she was. Taking the wine with her, she escaped to her room and wrote a letter before packing her bags. She left the next morning on the first flight to New York.

xoxo

Quinn didn't sleep that night. Greg had been a whirlwind of excitement as they left Nationals. The idea of standing up in front of a group of people and letting them know how much he loved Quinn was all he wanted. As he made calls and arrangements, she tried to reconcile what she was doing.

She hadn't realised how much she would hurt Rachel, she didn't realise how much she could hurt herself.

She hadn't thought of herself as being gay, not once and now she had to figure out if she was or not. She was attracted to Rachel, she couldn't deny it, but for the first time in her life she had to deal with what that meant.

She'd had plenty of failed relationships, plenty of disasters until she met Greg. Quinn was broken then and he'd wrapped her up and fixed her. She'd always love him for that, but she'd known for some time that she wasn't in love with him. The cracks were there before Rachel came back into her world and took her breath away.

Since High school Rachel had had a power over Quinn. Her thoughts about Rachel had tormented her back then and she turned that torment against Rachel. She was mean and cruel and called her names and attacked her whenever she felt weak. Quinn could still remember the double blow she felt when Rachel took Finn from her. She pushed her feelings away and followed a life that she had been raised to see as normal and then, when she felt the happiest she'd done in years, she pushed Rachel away.

As she lay awake, she knew she'd made a huge mistake in walking out of that room today, but now she didn't know how to undo it or if she ever could. Whenever she closed her eyes she could see Rachel, taste her kiss, remember the feel of her skin so soft, so close and then gone.

xoxo

Greg placed a coffee in front of her the next morning and she prayed it would help her get through the day. She planned to go and see Rachel after school and try to explain that she needed time to figure out what she was feeling. All she could do was hope that Rachel would understand and that she didn't hate her for running out on her yesterday.

Quinn got to her classroom and put her purse in the drawer before writing a quick note on the board behind her. Her class filed in and she set them a passage to run through. Sitting back at her desk she saw a letter with her name on it waiting for her.

She read it three times before she could take it in.

"Mrs Andrews?" One of her students was speaking to her. She looked up from the note. "Are you okay?"

"No," Quinn folded the note and put it back in the envelope. There was nothing she could do though, Rachel had left. She couldn't race after her and stop her at the airport it was already too late. She had classes to teach and students that relied on her and that wasn't what Rachel wanted anyway. The letter was clear on that much. Rachel knew what she wanted, it was simple to her. She wanted Quinn and that admission made Quinn tremble.

She didn't want to hurt Greg and she couldn't run after Rachel, she had commitments and she had students and she had a lot of excuses.

Rachel was gone. She sat at her desk the remainder of the class with that same thought rolling around her mind. Rachel had left and Quinn had to be here.

She pulled herself together and looked around at her students. "We've got weeks until finals now and you're the best students I've had the pleasure to teach, so I'm expecting big things." She didn't know if they listened to her, she hoped they'd all try though and they were all she could focus on right now. She didn't call Rachel. Rachel didn't call her. Every day that passed, she felt a little colder inside.

xoxo

The day before the ceremony Quinn cracked, she'd had a tough day at work and she couldn't face another night of Greg talking about plans for the future. She knew she couldn't lie to herself or him a minute longer.

"I can't pretend anymore," she said again, her voice shaky as she sat him down at the kitchen table. "I wanted to make you happy, but I can't."

"Don't be silly Q, you make me the happiest man alive." He meant it and she knew it, but then he looked at her and saw how broken she was.

"I'm not happy. I've not been for a long time, not since Rachel left."

"You miss having a friend about, but you'll meet some great gals. I think we should join the country club, Judy says we'd be happier if we broadened our circle of friends. What you think Q?"

She looked at him with sympathy, he was trying. He was holding onto her, but she could see that even he knew it was too late now. She had to let him go.

"I don't want that." She shook her head sadly. "I don't want to hurt you, but…"

"Its over?" he looked at her incredulously. "If I leave now Quinn, well that's it. I can't keep letting you break my heart."

"I can't do that to you. Greg I'm so sorry. I just…"

"It was never just a crush was it?" He shook his head as he searched Quinn's face for answers. "You still love her? All this time and it's still her?" his voice was shaky as he stood up, his legs not holding him up, so he sat back down quickly.

"Yes," Quinn nodded, tears falling down her face as she saw what she'd done to him. She'd been living in a world of denial for so long. It had ruined him and wrecked her, but she had admitted how she felt and it felt liberating.

Before they'd married Quinn had told Greg all about Rachel, he asked if she'd had a crush on her and she'd nodded, but quickly dismissed it as one of those High School things. She'd tried to be honest because she had a lot of baggage. Beth was important to her and she wanted him to understand what happened and the choices she'd made back then.

When Rachel came back to Lima she knew it was more than a crush but she fought that feeling. When Greg saw them together, the night that she almost let Rachel kiss her, he'd confronted her. Her head was a mess and she quickly denied any feelings to him and herself. Reassuring him that she wanted to stay married and work things out. It was enough for him and he was full of talk about renewing vows and having a fresh start. Her guilt got the better of her and she'd agreed a little too eagerly. Now she hated what she'd done. A lie was spun and it had hurt too many people.

Quinn moved towards him and tried to hold him, he let her for a moment, but then stood up. His pride hurt, but he couldn't do anything. She sat at the table and listened as he packed a bag. He didn't say goodbye, just walked out the house. She later saw his door key was left on the side table. It was over.

Quinn wanted to get on the next flight to New York, but she didn't. She was too scared she'd missed her chance with Rachel, that she'd left it too late.

Rachel had opened up to her and given her the chance to be brave, but Quinn hadn't taken it. Instead she'd hurt Rachel and she didn't know if that could ever be undone. She had to work out how to make it right, she had to find a way, she just needed the right opportunity.

xoxo

A week before Rachel's opening night and Kurt had flown in to see her. She was a wreck of nerves, but she'd spent the last month immersed in work. No one knew about Quinn, so no one asked. Now her best friend was sitting opposite her with a shocked expression on his face and she wished she didn't have to tell him anything either.

"You just left?" he shook his head in disbelief.

"She's staying with him. What else could I do. I wrote her a letter and told her how I felt, what I wanted. That I thought she was making a mistake staying with Greg. I've not heard from her since."

"You kissed her and she kissed you back and you left." Kurt wasn't listening to Rachel, he was still in shock.

"Kurt, it's not that simple. It's Quinn. It's complicated. She's the one that told me to go."

"You needed to talk to her," he sighed. "You still do."

"I can't. I shouldn't have kissed her. She's not called me either. It wouldn't work."

"You don't even want to try," he pressed. "You're scared?"

"Of my sexuality? No, you know that's not a problem," Rachel shook her head, she was happy with who she was.

"Of hers?"

Rachel shrugged, it was an issue. "She's straight."

"If you ask me she's been repressed for decades. Quinn was madly in love with you at high school and hid it by tormenting you. She's just one of the late bloomers, a bit like you!" Kurt's eyes sparkled as he told his story and Rachel almost believed it for a moment. "and she must like you, she kissed you back!"

"I really like her. I liked her too much," Rachel stood up and poured another cup of coffee, Kurt put his hand over his cup. He could never handle the same amount of caffeine as Rachel craved.

"And you tried to stay friends but where did that get you?"

"I want…I would…we can't be friends." Rachel shook her head. "We tried and I end up feeling like this. I want her. I want her to want me. Maybe she does, but she's with Greg. She pushes me away at every opportunity, but then she kissed me. She did. I can't forget that kiss." Rachel sighed, she didn't think she'd ever get over Quinn Fabray.

"Because it meant something!" kurt pulled the cup from Rachel. "Stop pretending it didn't. Call her, invite her here. It's been a month, she's probably figured herself out by now." Although he did wonder, Quinn was probably capable of hiding in the closet until she was 72.

"I doubt it, she'd have been in touch and anyway I'm busy."

"You're deflecting."

"I've got a week until first night. I don't need the distraction."

"Oh you really do," he muttered under his breath. He had a meeting to go to and hated that he couldn't fix Rachel over her coffee break. This would take some work and he knew he'd have to do most of his fixing behind his friends back.

He got hold of an opening night ticket the next day. No one asked questions, he was Rachel's best friend and wanted to surprise her by getting an old friend into the front row, Clem was only too happy to secure it for him and thankfully she didn't ask who it was for because he knew she'd never keep that information from Rachel.

He grinned as he passed it on to his assistant to mail, he knew things were never as complicated as Rachel liked to think and he guessed Quinn just needed a little bit of a push. Either way they needed to be in the same room in order to talk it out and this was the best way he could think of to make that happen.

xoxo


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11:**

Quinn had the ticket in her hand, she couldn't believe it when it came in the post, it was the opportunity she needed. She'd spent too long trying to think of the perfect way to fix things, but nothing ever seemed to work out right in her head. Now she knew Rachel wanted her there on opening night and it made her heart race. Since Greg had left she'd sat and thought a lot but no matter how many times she went over it, she still couldn't work out what to say to Rachel or how to ask her if there was still a chance, but she knew she wanted one.

Rachel had been right, Quinn had taken the easy option, she had a simple life that worked and changing that was something she hadn't been ready for then. She was scared to leap into something so unfamiliar.

Quinn had worked hard to make things work in Lima. It hadn't been easy, but she liked what she had become. She was a well respected teacher, had a good relationship with her mother these last few years and she had a husband that loved her.

It all changed when she accepted that none of the things she was clinging to, were a match for the time she spent with Rachel.

The kiss had left her reeling and she'd been in a mess ever since, but she'd made a choice. Quinn knew she had to be honest with herself. She thought she'd ruined any chance with Rachel, that it would be hard to make up for what she'd done but this ticket changed that, she knew it was her last shot at making things right. No matter what had happened Rachel still wanted her there. She couldn't mess this up.

xoxo

New York was as busy as she remembered, she'd been stuck in traffic for too long and was scared she'd miss the curtain, but as she got closer to the theatre she felt a calm wash over her. She knew she'd made the right choice and it left a huge smile on her face. Once she got inside the theatre she was overwhelmed, the hum of everyone talking, the anticipation of seeing a new show, and her own excitement began to fill her veins.

Finally they would talk. Finally she would see Rachel and could be honest about her feelings, the one thing Rachel had insisted on in the letter she'd written. It had taken this long for her to get here, she just had to hope that Rachel was still waiting for her.

For now she was hopelessly trying to pretend that all she cared about was supporting Rachel on her opening night.

The theatre was buzzing and it made the hair on Quinn's arms stand on end and her heart beat faster. She easily found her seat and she was pleased that she had a perfect view of the stage. She quickly scanned the faces near to her but didn't see anyone familiar. She had thought Hiram and Leroy would be here and had been a little nervous about seeing them because she was sure they'd know all about what happened after Nationals. At the least she'd expected to see Kurt and it was him that she was most scared of, she knew he'd call her out for being such a coward, but she was ready to tell him she wasn't one anymore.

The lights dimmed and the curtain rose and there she stood. Rachel looked ethereal on the stage. Her presence had always captivated Quinn and tonight was no different. She didn't know if Rachel had even noticed she was in the audience, but of course Rachel wouldn't show it. She was a star and tonight was about her. Quinn had been right about one thing, Rachel belonged out here, she owned that stage.

xoxo

The applause was still ringing in Rachel's ears as she got back to her dressing room.

"Clem?" She called out as she stepped inside.

"You were amazing. They loved you." Clem's eyes were wide with excitement.

"I know." Rachel quickly cut her down. "It's Quinn, she's out in the audience. You have to go get her, don't let her leave."

"You want her to come back stage?" Clem looked at her watch. "You can't be late."

"Bring her to the party. I'll see you there after I've done the stage door."

"I'll get Nikki to walk with you."

"Thanks."

"Why didn't you just arrange it with Quinn when you invited her?"

"I didn't invite her." Rachel was busy changing out of her costume, she'd just about held it together once she saw Quinn sat in the audience, but she was scared she'd leave like she did the last time. She couldn't let that happen.

Clem couldn't hide her smile. "Maybe she's come to win you over?"

"Just get out there and find her before she runs off with some guy yeah?" Rachel snapped as she pushed Clem out the door.

She collapsed in her chair and stared at her reflection in the mirror. The adrenaline from the performance was just about keeping her functioning, but she felt something else, a nervous energy from seeing Quinn after the last month apart.

Rachel began to remove the heavy stage makeup, she had to look her best tonight for the shows bosses and all the critics and sponsors that she would have to mix with, but now she also had to try and stop herself from running to Quinn the second she saw her. She knew it would be hard, she'd always struggled to resist chasing Quinn.

When she arrived at the bar she could see all the important people were in situ. A lot of well known faces, critics, money men. She took a moment to find Quinn in the crowd, theirs eyes met and Rachel stopped still. Quinn had the power to take her breath away and usually that made her feel happy, but tonight it hurt. She could only remember the moment Quinn left her alone in the green room. Quinn began to walk towards her, but Rachel was suddenly being embraced by the director and whisked off to another part of the room.

It was an hour before Rachel got the chance to speak to Quinn and then she found she couldn't even muster a civil word. It had been too long and she'd been hurting too much. "Why are you here?" She was curt and she wished she could have been more polite, but she was scared of the answer she'd receive.

"You invited me." Quinn looked at her confusedly, the smile that had been lighting up her face quickly vanished.

"I…no…" Rachel shook her head. "Kurt!" she hissed looking for him in the crowd of people, but he was nowhere to be seen.

"I'm sorry." Quinn felt like she'd been kicked in the stomach, she wasn't meant to be here after all and now she was invading Rachel's space and ruining her night. "I can go."

"Don't go," Rachel took Quinn's arm and led her away from the crowd. She hadn't meant to be rude. She'd felt happy when she'd been on stage and saw Quinn sat in the audience watching her, it had filled her with a warmth that she'd missed this last month and now she didn't want to let her go so quickly. "It's…I'm glad you were here. How was I?"

"Amazing," Quinn breathed the word out. Her eyes locked with Rachel's. She'd missed her. She wished she'd called, said something, been brave enough to tell Rachel how she felt. "I left Greg," she blurted out. "I'm sorry it took me so long, I had so much going on and then when you left…I went home and I thought and then I talked and I…" Quinn began to ramble on, her words not forming sentences as she stumbled over them.

"Not here," Rachel stopped her with a shake of her head and Quinn could see the alarm in Rachel's eyes. Perhaps she was scared someone would overhear them. Maybe Rachel was here with someone.

"You have a date?" Quinn looked as broken as she felt. Rachel couldn't miss it and she liked that the idea that she was on a date would bother Quinn.

"No date, but I have an agent and producers. I need to focus right now."

"Sure, the non disclosure thing, I forgot." Quinn nodded, kicking herself for getting in Rachel's way on her big night.

"The what?" Rachel looked at her confusedly.

"Clem wanted me to sign one, I get that it's important, you have to be discreet or whatever." Quinn shrugged simply.

"Um no." Rachel frowned. "I live as I want to." She couldn't believe Clem would do that, but then she knew Quinn wasn't lying. She had a few questions for her assistant, but then she realised the only time Quinn had met Clem was at her house. "She told you when she came to your house, but you never said…we never talked and…you knew I was…Clem thought we were together?…" Rachel couldn't get her head round it at all, she wanted to sit down, but the room was so full she'd never get left alone to process her thoughts.

"I didn't know what to say. I was shocked."  
"Shocked." Rachel clenched her jaw, Quinn was surprised to learn Rachel was gay and she wasn't here for the reasons Rachel had wanted, she was just being the friend she'd promised to be. "I get it." Rachel felt her heart fall.

"We should talk." Quinn tried but Rachel was busy backing away until she remembered the part about Quinn leaving Greg and she wondered.

"I've got to work now, but stay and we can meet up later? Wait for me. I'll only be an hour or so. Clem will keep you company."

Rachel walked off and Quinn found herself sitting alone by the bar, Clem was working the room twice as hard as Rachel. She was offered several drinks and a few guys came over to talk, but she quickly sent them away. She saw Rachel look over a few times and she offered a shy smile or a wave, but inside she was trembling.

xoxo

"Rachel asked me to get you." Clem was taking her by the arm. "They're going back to the theatre and waiting for the reviews. It's a big thing."  
"Sure," Quinn nodded.

"She's not avoiding you."

"I know."  
"Do you? Because if it were me? I'd avoid you. Married!"

"I left him."  
"Rachel said you chose him, that's why _she_ left."  
"I did, sort of. I wasn't ready, but I am now."

"Any guy over Rachel Berry? Seriously Quinn?" Clem shook her head. "It's okay I get it. You had the nice little picket fence dream, kids and a dog and all that. Boring but stable."

"I never really had a dream. That's what Rachel had. I just drifted and checked off boxes and had bad needy relationships. Got pregnant at High school. You know the usual teenage fuck up. I've spent my life with people judging me for that, so yeah maybe the fact I'm a lesbian scared the hell out of me. So what?" Quinn felt her body shake, it was the first time she'd used that word to describe herself and it was terrifying and liberating all at the same time. "Fuck," she fell back against the wall and Clem just watched her.

Rachel had been a few steps behind them and heard the whole exchange, she was only listening in because of what Quinn had told her about Clem. She'd been curious to know what her assistant would say this time around, but she'd not expected to hear any of that.

"Wow." Clem stifled a giggle and it shook Rachel back to life. "That was quite the big life moment."

"Hey," Rachel stepped forward. "Maybe get Quinn a drink?" She asked Clem, who quickly made herself scarce. "you okay?"

"You heard all that?" Quinn asked nervously.

"I did." Rachel spoke softly, she could see how shaken Quinn was.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have snapped at Clem, it's me I'm angry with, not her."

"She can take it. She's heard worse from me." Rachel offered reassuringly.

"It's really good to see you." Quinn reached out and touched Rachel's cheek. "So good."

"So…" Rachel looked Quinn over, she looked tired, but they had to talk. "We kissed."

"We did." Quinn found herself smiling at the memory.

"And then things didn't go so well."

"They went pretty bad," Quinn sucked her lips between her teeth as she thought of what to say next, "and I'm sorry but I was blown away and I just followed, I wish I could take it back, but in that moment I felt that was all I could do. Nothing was clear to me, but now…well now I'm here and I hope we can talk and that you want to and that maybe we could…I can do this, if you still want me, want to…" She couldn't find the right words so instead she took Rachel in her arms and kissed her and as Rachel melted into her she felt like she could never let her go. "I want to do that a lot."

"I'd like that." Rachel giggled, she wasn't used to Quinn stumbling over her words, but she liked how she kissed and she was now filled with a hope that they actually could make something happen between them. "How about we go back to mine after? I don't think I'll sleep, not tonight," she remembered how tired Quinn looked, "or you could go back to your hotel and we could meet for breakfast?"

"I don't want to wait until the morning." Quinn was adamant. They'd spent too long apart.

"They're in!" A voice called from the stage and Rachel smiled apologetically before leaving Quinn's side again.

xoxo

They got back to Rachel's apartment a few hours later. Quinn had been offered a quick tour and now they were sitting on Rachel's couch and sharing a bottle of wine whilst Quinn insisted on reading the reviews out again.

"Unbelievable!" Quinn poured herself another glass of wine and smiled at Rachel. "I'm so proud."

"I'm blown away. I mean it was good, but wow. People will be flooding in now. I can't believe it."

"You deserve it."

"Perhaps it was worth leaving Lima." Rachel pressed on the sore point between them and Quinn visibly deflated.

"You were right to go."

"I recall you asking me to stay at one point? Do you still feel that way?" Rachel asked a little nervously. Their feelings were still very unclear.

"Rachel I would love that. I would love to see you everyday." Quinn moved closer and chanced a chaste kiss to Rachel's lips. It left her tingling and craving more. "But…" Quinn stopped, she didn't want to talk of the reasons they couldn't be together all the time, but it was inevitable.

"I work here, but I don't feel alive like I do when I'm with you. I can leave it all Quinn. I was happy in Lima, happy with you. This is amazing. It's a dream, but it's not living. I feel alive when we're together, that's better than dreaming."

"You look alive on that stage Rach, there is nothing else like it and you can't give it up, not for me and I can't make you do that. You belong here and I'm happy in Lima, maybe that's been the problem all along. Why I kept pushing you away, why you let me."

"Bullshit!" Rachel snapped. "You kept telling me I don't belong there but neither do you and you never did!" Rachel was standing up now, her fierce gaze focussed on Quinn. They were too fiery and remembering her Dads warning she knew they'd never work things out if she didn't ease off. She took a deep breath and sat back down, placing her palm softly against Quinn's cheek. "Neither of us belong anywhere. What we really need and deserve, is a chance. Would it be so bad to come here, to move to New York? Take a chance on us?"

"Leave my life and follow your dream?" Quinn shook her head resolutely but she couldn't look Rachel in the eyes. "I couldn't sit around here, I can't give up my work." Her independence and own income mattered to her, she'd worked hard for it and to make her life in Lima.

"I don't want you to do that."

"Oh, Then?"

"Teach here! Move here. Why is that so frightening to you, or is it just the idea of being with me that scares you?"

"It does scare me. We're volatile and what if it doesn't work?" Quinn didn't want to say it, but it played on her mind.

"We're good together, it'll work." Rachel had few doubts, she knew that if Quinn would agree that they'd find a way to make things work, but it was too much for Quinn to deal with right now. Rachel could understand, she'd had longer to deal with how she felt, a lot of this was new to Quinn. "But we can try from a distance for a bit, see how that goes, if that's better for you?"

"I'd like that."

"Then maybe you'll consider coming to New York permanently?" Rachel persisted, she knew work was going to fill her days and she couldn't help but fantasise about the idea of returning home to Quinn at the end of each day.

"I don't know, maybe. I love my kids, I just feel that I can't leave them, it's too much."

"You love them," Rachel took Quinn's hands in hers, "and I love you." Quinn's eyes snapped up to meet hers. "I really do." Rachel nodded as she spoke, pulling Quinn closer before kissing her softly.

"Fuck!" Quinn sighed into the kiss, letting Rachel take control of her and fill her senses. She couldn't imagine not spending every minute with her. Rachel's lips were soon at her neck and Quinn was powerless and she liked it.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12:**

Six months passed and they'd tried. Quinn went back to Lima after the weekend of Rachel's opening night, she had commitments that she couldn't just break and she didn't want to change her whole world over night and Rachel was accepting of that at first.

Within weeks Quinn watched her students graduate and after a summer where she spent as much time as she could in New York she returned to McKinley and watched a new group arrive. She was contented to teach them, it was what she loved most. Quinn filled her spare time helping out with the Glee club and was happy that it was still going strong.

As the new term began she flew to New York once a month but most of the time Rachel was working and they had to cram as much as they could into every spare minute they could find.

Rachel visited Lima whenever she could, but that wasn't as often as either would have liked. Rachel's name was becoming more well known with each performance. She was on talk shows and doing promo work at every given opportunity. Everyone said she was a shoe in for a Tony, but Rachel wouldn't talk about it. Her success was making it harder for them to be together and they both knew it.

They'd fought, they'd fucked and they'd laughed but they weren't much good at talking because it always came down to the argument of being closer together. Each time Rachel swore she'd leave Broadway and Quinn swore she'd not be with her if she did.

xoxo

Quinn closed her eyes and took a sip from her coffee, wincing as it burnt her tongue. She knew it was hot, but she was too impatient. She hadn't seen Rachel in six weeks and it was getting to her. It had been the hardest separation yet. They'd driven to the airport in silence and Quinn had carried Rachel's bags towards security. She tried to wave goodbye, but then Rachel ran back at her and crashed into her arms, the tears fell and she felt like they'd never stop. Rachel wasn't happy and neither was Quinn. They'd spoken every night since, but it had been hard and now a new chapter in their lives was about to begin.

Rachel had found her dream, but now it was Quinn's turn to take an adventure, a new turn. She had the keys wrapped in her hand and was gripping them tight. The realtor was telling her something, but she'd stopped listening.  
Finally she was alone, slowly she opened the door. Stepping inside, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

"So this is going to be home," her words bounced off the walls. Empty and bare. It wouldn't do. Tomorrow she'd find something to hang there. So much she could plan, but she knew most of those plans would fall away the second she turned back to the door and saw it being slowly pushed open.

"So this is home." Quinn watched as she walked into the apartment, her eyes scanning the walls just as Quinn had done moments before. "Needs something," then her eyes rested on Quinn. "Needs us." Rachel grinned and Quinn quickly scooped her up in her arms and span her around in circles.

"I love you, Rachel Berry."

Rachel giggled and covered Quinn's face in kisses. "This is going to be amazing Q." Quinn put her feet back on the ground, but didn't let her out of her arms. Rachel's eyes were wide and her face lit up with the excitement of what was happening, Quinn couldn't imagine her looking more beautiful than in that moment. She captured her lips in a tender kiss and didn't think it was possible to be happier than she was right now.

Rachel grabbed her hand and ran with her to the lonely couch that sat in the middle of the room still wrapped in dust sheets. "I love you too. Now lets make this house a home."

Quinn fell onto the couch with Rachel and knew then that she'd never get half the things done that she planned, they'd spent too much time apart and had a lot to make up for. She started her new job in a week and Rachel would easily fill her time until then, but being here and being with Rachel was all she really wanted.

It had been a simple choice in the end, she'd spent too long hiding and she wouldn't do that anymore and she couldn't keep hurting Rachel. She'd spoken to her Mom the morning she got into Lima. Told her everything. It had been hard to see her Mom's face flicker with confusion, but eventually Judy hugged her and as they talked some more she'd helped Quinn see that the distance was too much. Judy didn't need her in Lima to look after her anymore and Quinn's last excuse was gone.

Quinn looked for work and there was plenty, but she wanted to wait until a replacement could be found at McKinley and for her house to be sold. It was a big step and she wanted to make sure it was done properly. No loose ends and no more excuses. It took longer than either wanted but now they were starting this new life with a new home and they were both in New York. Finally together.

"Get a room!" Kurt made his way inside, a box of Rachel's things in his arms.

"We got a whole apartment!" Rachel didn't stop what she was doing, but Quinn pushed her hands away when Kurt just glared at them.

"I still can't believe the two of you got it together."

"Rachel told me you thought I was crazy about her back in High school." Quinn pursed her lips as she watched his eyes light up.

"Were you?" Kurt was eager to know.

"Maybe just a little." Quinn grinned knowingly and grabbed the box from Kurt before putting it in their new kitchen.

"Stop doing whatever you're doing." A voice called from outside the door. Clem had walked in on Rachel and Quinn one time too many over the last few months. She didn't need to see that again.

"Don't worry Clem, its safe. Kurt cooled the romance." Rachel pulled the door open and ushered her inside.

"Oh, you won't do." Clem shook her head as she took in Rachel's appearance. "Why you had to move today of all days!"

"It's what matters." Rachel moved next to Quinn and joined their hands.

"Tonight matters." Clem corrected. "I picked this one for you Quinn." She handed Quinn a dress, much to Quinn's surprise. "What? You've got to look right. I can't have Rachel showing up with her date wearing something ugly."

"I don't do ugly." Quinn retorted.

"It's beautiful." Rachel stepped in, Clem and Quinn had formed a frosty union, but occasionally they bickered a little too much for Rachel's liking.

"And you both need to be getting ready now! The awards start in three hours." Clem began pushing them in various directions as Kurt watched the chaos begin.

"I'm so excited!" Kurt clapped his hands together and Quinn laughed.

No box would get unpacked today. They had more important things to do.

xoxo

As Rachel took hold of the Tony she shook it triumphantly. It had been a long road. She'd almost given up on her dream, and in the process of trying to find herself she'd found her true love back in the town where she grew up. Things weren't perfect, but they were all she could ever ask for. She came to the end of her speech and sought out those hazel eyes in the audience, waving her tony in the direction of her girlfriend and friends. "And one last thank you to Quinn. She has always believed in me and sent me on my way just so that one day she could come and find me and make me the happiest woman in the world." She stepped away form the microphone before quickly rushing back. "Oh and to the kids at McKinley High, well done for taking Nationals this year. Dreams really do come true!" she couldn't hide her pride at what they'd achieved.

It was that Glee club and that High school that had helped shape the person she was today and as she walked back to her seat she couldn't stop smiling at the woman she knew she would spend the rest of her life with. Quinn stood up as she got closer and Rachel flung herself into her arms. She felt Kurt and Clem join in the hug as they all smothered her.

"I'm so proud of you." Quinn whispered into her ear.

Rachel looked into her eyes and smiled. She was exactly where she was meant to be.

**THE END**

A/N: Thanks to those that have followed this story to the end. I can't believe it's the end of glee and that Faberry never happened in the many ways I, and others, imagined it could have. I have spent the last few years enjoying reading and writing about this pair. They had something special on screen and it's sad to see that end.

I will always be proud of being part of this fandom and grateful that it inspired me to write a few stories along the way.

Goodbye and good luck in all you do x


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